Thursday, November 15, 2007

Finally, a Prayer Group for Me!

Forget the poor! Why waste valuable prayer time on dowdy nobodies? Wouldn't you rather say some prayers for Jessica Alba or Heath Ledger? Well then, please direct your attention to the Hollywood Prayer Network. Whether it's real or satire, it's brilliant. A selections from their FAQs:

How can I pray for celebrities?

First of all, don’t be embarrassed or ashamed to want to pray for celebrities. They are changing our culture and they need prayer! Just go to God, remembering that these people are just like you and those in your community, except the whole world is watching everything they do and say. This makes them insecure, arrogant, angry, nervous, uncomfortable in public, clingy to one another and even paranoid. God didn’t mean for man to have the glory and so our prayers are needed to help these people see that God is the only one who can handle it and that’s why they need Him – along with His unconditional love, which they crave but don’t know it. HPN has the INCOGNITO PRAYER TEAM which organizes and encourages prayer warriors from around the world to pray for the celebrities of their choice and then we try to send you updated information on that person so that you can be more specific and effective with your prayers.

I'm going to pray for fantastic Pia Zadora!

EDIT: Ooh, ooh, I wonder if that priest who was stalking Conan O'Brien knew about all the helpful tips on this site?


Jess Wundrun said...

Wow! Princess, your prayers are extra powerful because already Pia Zadora has lost all her glory.

I'm thinking this will really clear up any stalking problems celebrities may encounter. /snark.

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

Pia Zadora losing her glory? Unpossible!!! She's Zadorable™ and I love her.

But, yes, the whole thing does have a bit of a Christian/Stalker Encouragement Factor (CSEF!).

karenzipdrive said...

Pia Zadora jumped the shark before there was even a jump the shark competition.
She made Nancy Sinatra seem like an international superstar.
She was truly the Nicole Ritchie of her time.

dguzman said...

la-la-la-la-I'm-not-listening-to-all-this-hatin'-on-Pia-la-la-la! She was Superrashastical™ in The Lonely Lady!

karenzipdrive said...

She was like a human Barbie without all the wit and personality. I always looked for the valve on her body where someone inflated her.

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

She was great in The Lonely Lady, but I preferred her in Butterfly.

karenzipdrive said...

I preferred her in "Total Obscurity."

FranIAm said...

Pia Zadora... I should not have to ask this but you have read John Waters Crackpot haven't you, you little sparkly princess you?

Oh where are my wig heads when I need them dammit!