Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Audioblogging: Funeral Music for Jerry Falwell

I was trying to consider a thoughtful way to memorialize Jihad Jerry here at the Pink Pony, and was startled to realize that I had already uploaded the appropriate files over a year ago, but had neglected to post them for reasons I forget.

But anyway, the above is one of my favorites, and a very hard-to-find collectible as well. It's one of the many vinyl releases put out by Falwell's Thomas Road Baptist Church. It's a pretty standard churchy record with one delightful difference: two unbelievably brilliant songs sung by a future busty sitcom star and her sister. These tunes have gained some fame in crazy songs circles, but if you haven't heard them... oh, are you in for a treat. I've seen these on the web (Wow! Many places!), but they're usually very tightly edited. My vinyl rips are sloppier and, if memory serves, probably pretty crappy quality, but they include a little more of the surrounding preaching from the LP than other versions posted on the interwebs.

Without further ado, I present young Robin and (future Wings star) Crystal Bernard:

The Monkey Song (2:53, 3.4MB MP3)
Ecumenical Movement (2:18, 2.7MB MP3)

Please shed a single poignant tear with me to celebrate mourn the passing of the man who brought us such wonderful cultural treasures.

Fair warning: if you listen to these, they will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day, possibly for the rest of your life.


Fran said...

Just when I think its not possible, you have outdone yourself PSP.

As if it weren't enough that Wikipikida had that cock error in the Falwell post, this made my day.

I am sure that Satan has already come up with many ways to get Jerry to "drop the soap" now that he is down there with him.

John said...

My brain hurts.

HRH King Friday XIII said...



Anonymous said...

Oh Princess! Thank you so much for this special musical treat. I am already addicted to these fabulous tunes. I'll just have to keep 'em playing in rotation all day.

Speaking of dead ol' Jerry, I was just flipping channels and noticed that Larry King will have Larry Flynt on the show tonight to pay a Very Special Tribute to his old buddy Jerry Falwell. Isn't that special? I don't usually watch the show but I won't miss it tonight.

Now let's all raise our glasses of Campari and salute the dead motherfucker.

Matty Boy said...

Let us recall the words of Miss Bette Davis in these trying times.

"Mother told me only to say only the good about the dead.

Joan Crawford is dead. Good."

I haven't been watching the tributes. Is his pro-apartheid trip to South Africa being prominently mentioned in his obituaries? His snarky comments about Archbishop Tutu perhaps?

Truly, a scumbag for the ages. But if I may say something kind, he did eventually get rid of the jackass pompadour he wore on the cover of the record.

Jess Wundrun said...

Hate is sooooooooooooooohatealiciously cute when it is sung by little children.

I wonder if Tim LaHaye who has got all of fundamentalist christendom to start lovin' the Israelites (for the same reason Charles Manson was luvin' the blacks) has heard that ecumenical movement song.

Never forget born agins: you are still under strict orders to hate everybody else, even if they worship jeebus too. Especially the rotten papists!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Sweet Jeebus, I'll never watch "Wings" the same way again.

Fran said...

When I read the phrase "born again" I was reminded of a trip I made to Jordan last year.

Many so called evangelicals go to the ruins at Petra in Jordan because they think this is where Jesus will turn up for the end times. I can't blame him- it is a pretty cool place! But I digress!!

Anyway it was the only place in Jordan where I saw Americans. A lot of them. Mostly overly white overly obnoxious and born again.

But the best part was the way my Jordanian guide referred to him, as colloquial speech doesn't translate so well....

"There are many new born Christians from the USA here!"

New born Christians. It makes me laugh every time.

What a bunch of babies!!!

Jess Wundrun said...

Dr. Von Monkerstein, are you sure you're not just a little hurt that the precocious babes were singing that the "monkey is no kin a' mine?"

I'd claim the monkey.

Fran said...

My words to the departed...

Monkey see
Monkey do
Better kin to a monkey
Than kin with you!!

(this is all bringing out the best of the worst in me!)

pissed off patricia said...

Oh my! Now how do I delete this shit out of my head? Wonder why we have never heard anyone do the Monkey song on American Idol. It's so catchy and so well, stupid.

puritani said...

Oh, thank you PSP. I haven't stop dancing to these tunes since listening to them this morning. This is almost as good as looking at the pictures of those crying Santorum children. Bless you, PSP.

Matty Boy said...

Another thought. Ms. Bernard worked for years with Steven Weber on the not particularly funny but very well cast sitcom Wings. Weber blogs on the Huffington Post and he's in the running with Alec Baldwin and Sean Penn for Angriest Liberal Celebrity.

The set for this show must have been way too much fun.

As for the songs, I have forgotten them already, but I have been inoculated against dreadful songs by listening to the Sore Throat Specials on local legendary college radio station KFJC. If someone knows how I can scrub Sebastian Cabot's version of Like a Rolling Stone from my mind, I's be glad to listen to all suggestions, reasonable or not.

Blue Gal said...

Seriously, Princess, I thought the song I posted today, "Never Wear Panties to a Party," was catchy. You outdo me every single time.

Love you anyway, PSP.

Fran said...

Never Wear Panties to a Party... I checked it out and it is for real.

It would be most excellent advice for Condi to follow.

Never Wear Panties to a Republican Party for her!

Blue Gal you rock, love the blog. I am the meanest mommy was great. You are not the meanest mommy, Barbara Bush is!

Lulu Maude said...

I can't wait to get to work and infect my colleagues with the Monkey Song!

I wish you lived down the street. What a collection you must have.

It was God's will that you save these ditties for Falwell's demise.

Praise Him!

Fran said...

Hmm - the Tinkster be the killah?

That does lend some credence to an awful (heheheheheeh) rumor about Falwell being found unconscious with his pants down around his ankles.

I'm just sayin'.

Karen Zipdrive said...

With the size of Falwell's ass and hips, I'm not sure anyone could GET his pants down around his ankles.
I think even GOP faux Marine and gay callboy Jeff Gannon would have to charge extra to mount that walrus.

mark h said...

Thank you, thank you, that was very nice.

Dan said...

Crystal Bernard.... busty? When was this?

chunkstyle said...

Did y'all know that Jerry Lee Lewis was Falwell's first cousin? Them's kissin' cuzzins!

Cathy C said...

Its pretty easy to bad mouth Christians and what they stand for, but I'm kind of curious many of you have ever even picked up a Bible, let alone actually READ it? It isn’t going to burn you just for touching it, you know. And if you’re so positive it is a lie ...well then, what can it hurt? But before you actually go bad mouthing it, try to read it objectively and with an open mind just to see what YOU think. Also, instead of randomly throwing out smart a** comments, I challenge you all to read it and research it and actually try and DIS-prove it. Something to think about all may be so positive that this world just “happened” by chance, and that the wonderfully made human body just “happened” to evolve from monkeys (which, btw, why aren’t the monkeys still evolving today?), and also that there is no God and no accountability. But I question you ...are you 100% certain of that? Do you know that if you died today that it would just be the end? And no more? Or that whatever you DO believe ...that you are 100% certain of that? Do you ever doubt it? What if there’s a chance you’re wrong? And there IS a God and there IS a judgement? It will be a little late. God gave you every chance and opportunity to chose him. He doesnt want robots. That’s why he gave us a free will. I pray that whoever reads this will really try and find out the truth. And if it is a fake, then what did it hurt? Just an interesting read!