Monday, July 24, 2006

Condi Hairdo Damage Report Updated and Resolved

OK, so I know you've been on pins and needles all day, knowing that there was indeed a real crisis going on in Lebanon... a horrific hairdo crisis which threatened, Samson-like, to sap our Diplotaunte of all her magical powers. Well, let's cut to the chase, OK? Because everything is just great now! Here, this is from just a little while ago today:

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Israeli Foreign Minister Tzipi Livni during their joint news conference in Jerusalem, July 24, 2006. (Oleg Popov/Reuters)
Full recovery, just as I predicted/hoped with all my heart. So:

Now you may relax! Everything is totally hunky-dory over there! I don't know about you, but an epic bad-hair day of these proportions doesn't happen very often in Condiland, and I've never seen one this bad so mercilously exposed by the Condirazzi. What a rare delight today has been! But I'm sure you want to know what happened earlier today, when Condi's hairdo was so thoroughly disrupted. Well, it turns out I know my Condoleezza Hairdo Perils™ pretty well, because I suspected the cold hands of a helicopter rotor behind the madness, and sure enough:

US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice salutes a US Marine as she walks towards a helicopter upon her departure from Beirut after meeting with Lebanese officials. Rice held crisis talks in Middle East at the start of a high-stakes mission to try to end the conflict in Lebanon, where deadly violence raged on for the 13th straight day.(AFP/Nicolas Asfouri)
So, yes, you may go back to your families, your loved ones, and rest assured that the Condoleezza Hairdo Alert System works.

And finally, can I bring our beloved giantess Ursula Plassnik into this? If we've learned anything from Ursula, and Condi should have, too, it's the value of a good scarf. Oh, Condi, TSK! Accessories are not only your friends, but sometimes they're your protectors!


Lulu Maude said...

I had begun to wonder if the bad hair day wasn't an act of empathy for people having their homes bombed out, loved ones killed, etc., but I guess that the everlasting presence of the stylist prevails and reassures the world of America's stability.

Anonymous said...

Why can't she be friends with Miss Pasty-face Isreali up there? Princess Condi and Zippi -- how cute is that? They could have a show and merchandise and do marathons for orphans and...... my heart breaks with the unfulfillable possibilities!

Anonymous said...

In that first pic, she is totally holding 2 MAGIC SPHERES and she's giving one to the Israeli FM. Look how worried she looks, too , and Tzipi (best name ever) is about to cry. This, ladies and gentlemen, is diplomacy.

Anonymous said...

Would that be Tzipi the Pinhead?