I Apologize in Advance for the Nightmares

Regular contributer and Pony Pal™ Uncle Splatty emailed me this vision of pure horror the other day:

I was a little reluctant to post it because... well, because it gave me intensely bad dreams. Uncle Splatty explains:

Condi is ready to Iraq your world and soothe the troubled dispositions of America's trembling coalition partners (including Poland) on a moment's notice! She comes with big green, multi-ethnic rotating eyes, which pop out quickly for convenient cleaning, gravity sensitive eyelids which open and close when she is turned upsidedown for some I see you fun, plus push technology® flip curls which can be expanded and contracted to reflect the changing needs of her chamelion-like horror hair by simply pulling a lever in her anatomically accurate spine. Finally, Condi proudly sports the Peteykins Carry All Socket Purse®, which contains all the exciting paraphernalia of a busy, on-the-go, cabinet level professional. Lipstick, blusher, eyeliner pencil, Phi Beta Kappa key, shellac, mace, re-chargeable taser, bobby pins, breath mints, two Everlast Condoms® and the top secret codes for launching the Presidential Nuclear "Football" in the event of a major and ill-timed pretzel incident.

And in case you're wondering what's up with the purse, it's Splatty's tribute to this picture I did last week for Fark.

What's funny, though, is that there really is a Condi doll, as I previously reported. Mine just came in the mail a few days ago, and I'm more than satisfied. And thank goodness it doesn't look like Uncle Splatty's possessed demonoid. I'll try to take some action shots of my new-most-treasured toy this weekend.