Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Callista Gingrich Forces Her Hairdressers, Probably At Gunpoint, To Leave Positive Reviews On Amazon

(10-18-14, via the Goddess Callista's Instathing.)

How many more trips to the well can our Beloved Moon Goddess make? Once again, we have a new soft-core patriotism adventure with our favorite twee time-traveling elephant. This time it's Lewis and Clark.

And just as before, I'm wondering who is buying these books?  Let's take a look. Amazon currently has 26 reviews, and just as before, most of these books are being bought for other people's children:

  • Ellis is such a delight, as my nieces read along
  • I look forward to sharing his newest adventures with my nieces and nephews!
  • Perfect birthday gift for our great grandson to encourage patriotism in our young.
  • Great educational gift for my younger cousin!
  • I gave this book as a gift to my niece and she loved it
  • We have loved the series and look forward to more treasured memories sharing this book with our grandchildren.
  • I have gifted these books to our little private elementary school.
  • Our grandchildren love these books & we have donated the 1st 3 books to a local school library.
  • It has been a favorite gift to my grandkids and friends' kids.

So, basically the book is being used as an "American Exceptionalism"  proselytizing tool, as intended.

But what's this? A lot of these reviews are by people who seem to have signed up specifically to give Callista's book a five-star rave.

And, again, I ask: who are these people?

Well, they are her beauticians, for instance.

I spotted one review written by an oddly named person, Wioleta Frackiewicz, and thought, "That's easy to Google." It turns out she's the "Manager/Esthetician at Sugar House Day Spa and Salon" in Alexandria. Finding that led me to noticing that there was another five-star review of Callista's book by a user named "sugar house". What an amazing coincidence!

The next question I asked to myself was, of course, "I wonder where Callista gets her hair done?" For that I turned to the New Yorker:

“Where do you get your hair done?” a red-haired woman asked as she got her book signed.

“At Sugar House in Old Town,” Mrs. Gingrich said quietly, referring to a salon in Alexandria. (Her stylist, Tatjana Belajic, told me she has yet to get a request for “the Callista,” though that would surely change if Mrs. Gingrich became First Lady.)

Another incredible coincidence! 

Another reviewer, Carmen Omiste, is also a hairdresser in Alexandria!

Five-star reviewer Sonya Harrison is not a hairdresser, and she does not manage a day spa, but my goodness, there's a LOT of Gingrich in her LinkedIn profile.

Five-star reviewer Rick Story may be the same Rick Story who worked on Newt's staff alongside... Callista!

So I feel like I've finally answered that nagging "Who is reading Callista's boring books?" question: ancient people who are worried about their nieces, nephews and grandchildren, people who work for the Gingriches, and people who work for the Gingriches' hairdressers.

Oh, and supposedly actual children, too.


Fearsome Beard said...

I couldn't help myself, I finally went to Amazon to check out the preview of one of these Ellis book thingys and check out these reviews. Sugar house, I'm still laughing. However I did read some of the preview and the description bad, really bad came to mind reading the prose. However I did notice near a the end of the preview that John Adams had a spouse, not a wife but a spouse. How progressive...

davedave said...

That thar is some fine investigative journalism. Thanks PSP!

Drew said...

I'm betting the same network is behind the popularity of John Grisham!

Aunt Snow said...

I'm not sure I can be bothered to look it up, but didn't one of Newt's interns, who had to wear the Ellis suit, also get in trouble with the law over some sexual peccadillo?

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Hairdresser? I thought she just had her hair molded into shape one time, and it stayed like that forever.

Peteykins said...

Aunt Snow, yes: http://sparklepony.blogspot.com/2013/04/callista-gingrichs-elephant-furry.html

Anonymous said...

Notice no one says that their own kid likes the book. That's because anyone can pretend to like a book one time for Granny or Auntie, but liking it and reading it on a regular basis is another thing completely.

Prof. Hubbard said...

Thank you for cropping out Ellis' groinal region. It can upset my dreams and waking hours in nearly equal proportion.