Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Callista Gingrich Goes To Airports, Just Like Regular People!


(Photo by: The Georgetown Dish)

Put the phrases "Callista Gingrich" and "next first lady" in the same article, and THAT is what I call hard-hitting Callistagoddess reportage: The Empress Gingrich, immaculately turned out, was spotted enduring Dulles Airport's shuttle train with bedazzled, gawking inferiors. Did she lash out at these ants, laying waste to those who dared speak to her, who even looked directly into her eyes? No! She managed to get through it all by acting perfectly pleasant and even making light chit-chat! It is exactly like a fairy tale. How does she do it? My god, she is totally even pulling her own wheelie carry-on thingy, like a saint. Just like a saint!

And everybody knows that old-timey saints got their powers from their halos, which were not just artistic conventions but real objects powered by a kind of technology known only by Jesus. And so, too, does this latter-day saint (LOL, sorry), this majestic, most aglitter point on the holy trinity that is Newt Gingrich's combined wives, have a halo of her own, a celestial orb of gossamer titanium with its magic B├ęzier tentacle forever reaching for the great beyond.

Whoops! Sorry, I fell into a Callista hairdo reverie again.

19 comments:

Aunt Snow said...

You know, I'm sure that on one level, she's a nice lady.

Is till wonder why a woman who's only in her 40's styles like she's in her '60s. She could talk to me about it - I have to circulate in those circles and I'm in my 50s. You don't see me with a wig like that.

What part of her soul did she have to sell?

Anonymous said...

This is the first PSP sounds like Proust ... What is Callista doing to him ... Even Kondi did not have such an impact on his limitless creativity ..

Fran said...

Oooh - Callista's halo-hairdo power! What a way to start my day!

Matty Boy said...

She is such a perfect queen, she should be played in the movie by Julie Andrews.

You might think Miss Andrews is too old, but I think she's just about right.

novatrainer said...

Your commentary on Condi, and specific reports on her hair are fantastic, but I think Callista may be even better. I'm getting so I don't miss Condi all that much. Maybe Callista is almost too easy a target, but she's really tailor made for your blog.

But don't get me wrong. Your report on Condi's new book and how she was buying designer shoes during the Katrina aftermath was one of your best posts.

rdale said...

Me too, I'm soooo glad there is a new hairstyle to attract PSP's attention! I was feeling lost after Condi was gone, but now we can look forward to many more delicious posts about Callista's locks. Or wig. Or helmet.

Anonymous said...

The peaks on my lemon meringue pie are SO jealous of Calista's perfect meringue colored peak.

How does it stay so sharp and perfect?

HRH King Friday XIII, Ret. said...

How did she sneak her luggage full of dismembered bodies past security?

Anonymous said...

Where's the mobile hairdo command center? Is there an in-flight version? Or a small booth in the airport?

Peteykins said...

Thank you for remembering the phrase "mobile hairdo command center."

Anonymous said...

They say the GOP frontrunner cycle runs about 45 days. Newt is over a week into his ride at the top, so we can hope for about 4 more weeks of Callista-spotting.

Don't disappoint us Princess!

Anonymous said...

I just thought of a good reason why she might be dressing like she's in her 60's. I can't find the ages of Gingrich's daughters, but he was married to his first wife in 1962, 4 years before Callista was born. So her stepdaughters are likely exactly the same age or slightly older than she is. Awkward! Better to dress like an old lady than be mistaken for the third Gingrich sister. It really sounds like it could be the plot of a a good farce, any playwrights out there?

Lulu Maude said...

Newt got tired of people asking if she was his daughter... found an old pic of her in her daughter-looking days before she was wrestled to the ground by Newt's campaign staff and pressed into her Republican wife role: write a dumb children's book about America and dress in those icky little suits.

You asked for it, Callista.

Matty Boy said...

@ Lulu Maude: I don't think that's Callista unless she went to a plastic surgeon and said, "I want to look like Margaret Hamilton. Money is no object."

The nose is all wrong.

Lulu Maude said...

Nope,that's her... looking a little like Allison Krauss.

Maybe Newt made her get her nose done in a Good Republican Honker.

Anonymous said...

How dare you insult Margaret Hamilton!

samael7 said...

Never apologize, Peteykins. Not for such dazzling fever-dream contemplation.

She's like a pink champagne bubble, floating amidst drear Dulles hoi polloi.

The Cat's Meow said...

We're thinking that either she and Newt were advised by some reverse-Naomi-Wolf image consultant when they created Newt Inc., or (shudder, shudder) Newt told her what he wanted her to look like and she complied. Whichever scenario applies, it's truly frightening.

Anonymous said...

Well, they say to dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Callista is running for First Lady.

Newt said of his first wife, you know, the one he divorced when she was in the hospital, "She isn't young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President".

I think the look is Newt's idea. Callista just complies.