(PSP-on-Wonkette flashback to January 22, 2008)
- Abortion clinics should be required to have petting zoos featuring Tasmanian wolves, dodos, and velociraptors.
- Doctors should be compelled to present to each patient a staged musical portraying the unborn child's first birthday party.
- Bathroom fixtures must be solid platinum with rubies to indicate hot water, emeralds for cold.
- Clinics must provide a five-story parking garage for each bed.
- Each facility must include a cafeteria designed and administrated by Wolfgang Puck.
- Any fetus aborted must first be proven beyond a reasonable doubt to eventually grow up to be either a terrorist or a hairdresser.
Only then can we be sure that Virginia's women will be protected.
10 comments:
You forgot:
-- Contemporary Christian music stations must be played over Bose stereo speakers installed throughout the facility.
-- To add to the last requirement, add "Democrat," "Mother Jones reader," "organic farmer," and "pornographer."
Excuse me, Reporter Cub, but that sounds like WAY TOO MANY exceptions to me. Slippery slope!
But LOL @ "organic farmer."
So, how long has the kid holding that sign been voting? And they accuse Democrats of voter fraud!
Wouldn't they have to use sapphires on the cold-water faucets? Or did you pick emeralds because they're more expensive?
Anonymous #1: that's why I took that picture; I was amazed. Click the link under the pic to also enjoy a sign featuring the word "abortion" misspelled.
Anonymous #2: Yes.
An article in The Onion on this topic suggested a law requiring women to name the baby and paint the nursery before getting an abortion.
@ myself the last anonymous comment...I would like to name the baby Newt or Calista before the abortion.
I was thinking of something like travel brochures and discount coupons for one-way air travel to countries where suicide is legal, but I couldn't come up with anything funny. So, how about kittens, in the petting zoo. Kittens are always good.
Clearly, these restrictions also need to be applied to oncology clinics - after all, that polyp in Timmy Teabagger's rectum could grow up to be GOP politician someday! ;)
Put abortion clinics in casinos, on Native American reservations. Then it would be near impossible to picket them, for fear of arrest. And aborting all those white feti would be a just revenge for the Trail of Tears.
Heyah ho!
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