All That Glitters IS CALLISTA!

(Photo and screenshot: NY Times)

I recently apologized to all you Pony Pals about my inability to identify specific pieces of Callista Gingrich's fab Tiffany jewelry. Well, thank goodness for the New York Times and Time Magazine, picking up the slack with, respectively, a new article and a glamorous slide show which both accomplish this important journalistic task. Time fudges most of their examples (this necklace looks similar to that which sells for this much), but the $22,000 earrings are convincing, as is the $45,000 necklace shown above. Hey, that totally looks like fun, let's try it:

What we all really want to know, though, is who Newt was with doing what when Callista walked in on them to earn the gorgeous baubles, and those sorts of questions, sadly, remain unanswered. Best part of the NYT's article:

As House speaker, Mr. Gingrich preached the virtues of fiscal conservatism; now he is struggling to explain how spending large sums on jewelry fits in with that philosophy. And while a spokesman for Tiffany confirmed Tuesday that Mr. Gingrich had paid the debt in full, with no interest, parrying questions about a six-figure jewelry bill is hardly what his campaign needs at a time when many Americans are out of work or have lost their homes.

Oh, and that "revolving, no-interest account" with Tiffany? According to Glenn Kessler, such accounts don't normally exist for ordinary soccer moms. So why did the Gingriches get such a sweet, no interest deal? Maybe because Tiffany's had important mining issues to lobby before the House Agriculture Committee, a committee whose staff at the time included... Callista Gingrich?

But let's get back to a more important topic: Callista's hairdo! Doesn't the swoosh look superfantastic in the NYT's photo? I think it should be bronzed gilded and donated to the Smithsonian. In fact, I think Tiffany and Co. should take a closer look at the mighty hair swoosh, because that incredible wing of platinum could inspire Elsa Peretti to greater heights than a bunch of dumb old beans.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I can't believe it never occurred to me before this, but doesn't Callista's mighty hair swoosh look exactly like half a gigantic blond handlebar mustache? SUPERB.