Saturday, March 26, 2011

Your Callista Festival Awaits

(All photos copyright © Callista Gingrich, Gingrich Productions)

So have you headed over to see Gingrich Productions' website yet (warning: loud auto-playing movie on the homepage)? Oh, are you in for a treat, because as you can see in the photo caption above, this is Callista's world, and Newt is just living in it, which is fantastic! The best part, obviously, is the photo galleries, because OMG, it is just Callista, Callista, Callista everywhere with her supercute outfits and special smile and adoring gazes. They just posted a new batch of pictures, and it is simply a relentless parade of Callista fashions and adorableness, which is what America needs right now. I think it's "behind the scenes" shots of Newt 'n' Cindy and pals filming something called "American Exceptionalism," which is presumably about how Newt 'n' Cindy and pals are exceptional Americans. Neat!

And, of course, the mighty hairdo. Take a look at it again, up above. Is that not the most incredible concoction? It's breathtaking. I love how it's constructed of two primary units: the bubble and the epic swoosh. That isn't hairdressing; that's architecture.

It's easy to get swept away on the topic of this epic coiffure, but let's not forget that Newt Gingrich himself is also the proud owner of quite an impressive hair structure:


And in fact, Newt's hair conforms more perfectly to a spherical shape than even Callista's orbital 'do, although obviously on a smaller scale. Let's check the overlay:


But enough about Newt. Callista! OMG so many good pictures. Here are the obvious best:



And remember when I enacted a strict "mean comments about Cindy McCain are forbidden" policy? It was controversial, but I might have to do it again for Callista. Because she is basically Queen of the Universe right now.

25 comments:

Matty Boy said...

Dear Peteykins,

It's your blog and your rules, of course, but if you enact a "no mean comments" rule, what would the punishment be for quoting

Is it composed of more-or-less equal parts of rocky material and water ice with some additional volatile ices such as ammonia? You'll need more information; this could go either way.

It's undeniably hilarious, but it's kinda mean, too.

And before the rule has been put completely in effect (you used the word "might"), I have to say that while Callista's hair regime is beyond impressive, when it comes to skin care... well, she's no Cindy McCain.

Aunt Snow said...

I love the three suit-ensembles in three different bright colors. She must have a whole rainbow in her closet. But only one lipstick!

Anonymous said...

At least Cindy McCain didn’t look so scary, and she could dress. Callista looks like she is trying out for a part in the Stepford Wives.

Is it mean to say that Callista Gingrich, (oh what a name) is a Stepford Wife?

Anonymous said...

The difference is that -- this is hard to say really politely -- if I were looking for an age-appropriate alien/android with whom (which?) I wanted to, um, couple, C. McC. would be very high on my list. Not so Callista, who is about as appealing as Tammy Fae Baker (or whatever her name was).

Also, as (the other) Anonymous has alluded to, scary as she is, Cindy McCain has really got some style.

Anne said...

Are you sugesting that Newt's hair is an overlay?

sfmike said...

"That isn't hairdressing; that's architecture." And not just any old architecture either. It looks like a closeup from one of Frank Gehry's curving cultural edifices like the Bilbao Guggenheim or Disney Hall in LA.

Anonymous said...

That 'do is at least 15 years old. It's like Hillary in "The Special Relationship." Only worse.

Rod n OH said...

...i get it...i do...the overwhelming presence of the 'do...but, there's one thing i'm struggling with...those roots!

...or could it be that Callista's flip is so large that it casts it own shadow?

Stacy said...

Is Newt's hair a little moon orbiting around her massive hair planet? I think so! Also, she looks mean.

Lucy The Wonder Dog said...

Do Callista's teeth look yellow because her skin is so white, or are they in need of some bleach?

Fran said...

Yellow, lipsticky, hairdo-y fabulousness!!!

Anonymous said...

Is it mean to point out that this woman is only 45, even though she looks at least 15 years older? It's not that she necessarily looks old, it's just that she has chosen to look like a matron about 15 years early. Matronly hair, matronly clothes. I thought trophy wives were SUPPOSED to look a lot younger than their old men.
Do we have any photos of her back in the courting days with Newt? I wonder if she adopted this look then and just stuck with it all these years. The bright colors ARE very 80's.

Anonymous said...

RE: my comment above, regarding Mrs. G's chosen aged look. Compare to Jill Biden, who actually is of matronly age. She looks about 15 years younger than this one.

Matty Boy said...

To the last two Anonymous posts: Yow! She's 45 and Jill Biden is about to turn 60?!?

If you had asked me to put Jill, Callista and Cindy in chronological order before I looked it up, I would have had the list completely wrong.

Nixie Bunny said...

It's so nice to see you with a hairstyle toy to play with again.

JustChickenIGuess said...

Cindy McCain NOT SCARY?!!! ReallY?!! PSP picks reptile photos very well and they sure look like they bite to me.

Fran said...

45??? Forty five??? Seriously? Really?

Anonymous said...

Cindy McCain at least had some fashion taste. She wore some good outfits. She wasn’t Jackie O., but some of her dresses and her $250k diamond earrings helped.

Her too small knit sweaters were annoying, but she wore some of her clothes very well.

Anyway no loss, given that Michelle Obama should be a model after her time in the White House, and wore some stuff that says “Wow!”.

Callista Gingrich is looking like she is trying to impersonate Virginia Foxx or Pat Buchanan’s wife, and thinking Frumpy is the new trend.

Anonymous said...

It is sad to think that Callista is only 45 yet dresses like she's 60.

Has she ever been young?

Who's looking for photos of her back in the days she was boffing Newt as a staffer? Anyone?

I note that her Wikipedia entry is completely lacking any personal history pre-Newt.

Anonymous said...

She went to Luther College in Iowa (despite being a supposedly devout Catholic!) Someone find a yearbook!

Matty Boy said...

Sorry to comment hog, but I am nearly as obsessed as PSP is with this now.

As little as two years ago, her hair was boringly human looking. There was a basic spherical main structure, but she sported a little "That Girl" type mini-flip in the back. It was not worthy of study by an artist-scholar of the stature of Peteykins.

Do I dare say it? We might need a hair-do alert system which starts at a high point of SPHERICAL and descends to IRONED, where it is as straight and long as Mary Travers back in her heyday.

I hoped to find wedding pictures or stuff from earlier on by Googling her maiden name Bisek, but no luck so far.

Anonymous said...

Just saying: She looks like the Chicken Lady from Kids in the Hall.

samael7 said...

The bubble! The swoop! I can't decide! And neither could Callista!

If there were a factory somewhere that cranked out perfect Republican wives -- and I'm not convinced there isn't -- Callista would absolutely be a paragon. Hell, they'd have to name the model after her! The Callista 3000 line! Doesn't it sound super-NOW?

Oo, you could even have the tag, "The third time's the charmer!"

P.S. I'm disturbed/tickled by the even-more-perfectly spherical nature of Newt's head. Your placement of the circle's nadir corresponding with his upper lip is genius. Good eye!

Anonymous said...

HEr teeth arent' "yellow." She's wearing braces!!!

Anonymous said...

I vaguely remember her hair from their courtship days; it was definitely brown, similar to her current roots, longer (almost to her shoulders, I believe) and styled but less 'done'. She looked her age then, which was late 30s. Yikes.