Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Richard Cohen Is A Winner!

Hurray! I've been enjoying Salon's beauty pageant for awful pundits, "The Hack Thirty," as compiled by Alex Pareene, who was the editor during my first guest stint at Wonkette. The profiles are great, just brutal. All through it, though, I was on pins and needles wondering if Sparklefave Richard Cohen was going to make the cut. After all, in April, 2009, I declared that Cohen had officially attained the distinction of being the worst writer on the planet for penning the phrase the street of broken dreams, Pennsylvania Avenue (a mere two months after coming up with the previous title holder for worst sentence ever constructed) Earlier that year, I even had a letter to the editor published in The Post in which I offered the opinion that he was "ridiculous" and had achieved a "new low" for the paper. I worried, though: would Pareene disqualify Richard for being just totally irrelevant anymore? Would he not make the cut because he's never on TV these days?

Oh, I shouldn't have fretted, because when all was said and done, my heart leaped with joy as Alex crowned Richard as the #1 worst hack in political punditry! He won! I couldn't put this better myself:

There's no subject on which Richard Cohen is not completely inessential. The looming debt crisis? Caused by kids today and their tattoos and hippety-hop music! The financial collapse? Did you know that Richard Cohen went to high school with Ruth Madoff? 'Cause that's all he's got.

Richard Cohen is the worst hack in the country.

You may wish to celebrate this fab achievement by taking a walk down memory lane in the PSP Richard Cohen archives.

Congratulations, Richard! You deserve it!

UPDATE: I've been looking and looking, and NOBODY is coming to Richard Cohen's defense. Humorous!


Matty Boy said...

I live on The West Coast and readily admit I am far from the hub of power. I can read all I want of the daily goings on and still I will be far removed from the vital source.

Matty Boy, who can we trust to tell us what matters?

Hypothetical question asker, have you been paying no attention? Peteykins will cut to the heart of it. Everything else is so much fluff.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

You showed us the way. Well done Princess!

Peteykins said...

Oh, come on now. I'm just reactive, like everybody else on the web.

Anonymous said...

I think it is e a dead heat between Cohen and Krautheimer.
Terminal boredom or terminal frustration

Happy Thanksgiving!

Peteykins said...

It's certainly surprising that Krauthammer didn't make the cut, but he is remarkably consistent in his views, and he's a good writer, so that's probably why. He may be evil, but he isn't stupid.

Two obvious, glaring omissions: Michelle Malkin and Andrew Breitbart. I have a feeling Alex just didn't want to give them any attention.

samael7 said...

I'm only on #4, and the evisceration-freude (that was my Thomas Freidman impersonation) is making me giddy.