Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Michael Gerson's Arizona Metaphors Need Some Work

Though the Gila monster is venomous, its sluggish nature means that it represents little threat to humans.

As a former Arizonan, naturally I'm interested in the big McCain vs. Hayworth match. So much to dislike on both sides! Michael Gerson, in this morning's Washington Post, tried in a cutesy way to make the whole mess Arizona-relevant by roping in the local wildlife:

When Arizona's bitter Republican primary election arrives in August, it is likely to be 102 degrees in the shade, of which there is little. It is the kind of weather in which only the hearty and highly motivated venture outdoors -- Gila monsters and Tea Party activists. Which may not be good news for Sen. John McCain, who is generally disliked by the latter.

Just one thing, though, Michael: Gila monsters are mainly nocturnal. Whatever.

The rest of the Op-Ed is funny, because Gerson tries to paint Hayworth with the broadest, most horrible brush possible, while McCain... well, see if this sounds like our Walnuts to you:

At his best, McCain is precisely what a senator should be -- independent, passionate, unawed by power, unmoved by influence. He has quickened national debates on torture, the environment, immigration, military strategy in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the budget process.

Ha ha ha! OK, now THAT is hilarious.

And in other Arizona news, yes, the draconian new immigration legislation just passed, which more or less requires cops to constantly harass brown people because they don't get to do it enough already. Of course, it's all about checking immigration status, nothing more. My mother is still a Canadian citizen; think she'll get "carded" constantly? Think she'll get pulled over every time she drives? Of course not, because the whole entire point of this new law is to make Mexicans, specifically, leave the state, whether they're here legally or otherwise. This should have an interesting impact on the state's economy.

Oh, Arizona, take off your rainbow shades... and crush them into the dirt with the heel of your Tony Lama boots.

11 comments:

Madduane said...

Y'know, I think that all these 2nd amendment and 10th amendment advocates should have a little look-see at the 4th amendment.

Karen Zipdrive said...

You never told us you were half Canadian. That exlains the little maple leaf T-shirt I bought from your collection, that says, "Don't hate me I'm Canadian."

Peteykins said...

I'm not Canadian at all. Both my parents, however, are.

bungee said...

Getting back into the states from Canada isn't much fun compared to getting into Canada either. We seem to be in the grip of some sort of national xenophobia.

Madduane said...

Plus, now they've passed a bill requiring BHO to show his "real" birth certificate if he wants to be on the ballot in AZ next election.

What th' hell is wrong with people?

Genius said...

I don't understand the Mark Lindsay which is strane since I usually understand everything.

puravida said...

I sure do hope those Arizona cops of *Hispanic* descent (I imagine there are a couple or three) start checking the citizenship papers of those good ol' white boys. You know, reasonable suspicion and all...

T D Coleman said...

Too bad...I was planning a trip to visit the Grand Canyon next year. It appears that a visit to Arizona may be hazardous to my health.

Fran said...

I am just happy to see the picture at the top of the blog once more... A reminder of those wacky, zany campaign '08 days.

lorrwill said...

Now the tragic irony of this is I knew someone who moved from California to Arizona only to move back because she couldn't stand the racism.

That was in the late 90's. And she wasn't even brown skinned.

It blows my little mind that some folks are trending towards an even lower detritus level.

Arizona. A petri dish of social de-evolution or something like that.

The Truffle said...

I'm confused. One Arizonan claimed that the state had a strong libertarian streak. How do you explain their new "driving while brown-skinned" laws?