Sunday, January 31, 2010

Idiot Discovers Expensive Things For Rich People

Screenshot from eBay.

I had to roll my eyes at dependably dumb Bob Greene's latest column at This is one of the hackiest old warhorses of a theme in the hack columnist's cheaters' guide: OMG, look! I found this outrageously expensive boutique item! And we are supposed to share in his shock and outrage over, in this case, a really really costly Hermès bag.

Well, yes, I've heard Hermès makes expensive things! You could even say their reputation impels them to make expensive things.

Really, you have to read this stupid column, because Greene is playing dumb and acting like he's completely unaware of the existence of ludicrously pricey consumer goods, and I'm just not buying it, because he's flying back and forth between New York City and swanky Naples, Florida to do so. The faux-outrage and faux-out-of-itness is just the thing you'd expect from a faux-common man like Bob Greene.

But still, just wait until he finds out about Rolex watches.


Fran said...

He has always annoyed the living crap out of me, always. Ugh - how does he get paid to write???

coronaboomboom said...

I'm just not buying it either (but I wish I could!).

samael7 said...

Maybe he's really some kind of nature conservatist. If he's making trips to Naples, one of the endpoints of Florida's "Alligator Alley," perhaps he's grown over-fond of those skulking Everglades denizens and objects to the handbag on PETA grounds -- but he can't admit it, because it's too unmanly.

Or maybe he's just kind of a tool.

P.S. "Swanky?" Naples? My memories are different, although over 30 years old. Unless you mean a contraction of "swampy" and "manky," in which case that makes total sense.

Peteykins said...

Samael, I actually just guessed and called it "swanky," mostly because it has a Hermes boutique.

drew in sf said...

I had to google "Himalaya crocodile" to make sure that it wasn't a spoof - that's how uncouture-ish I am. Still wondering if it's something akin to Rocky Mountain oysters, I dug further and learned that there are actually crocs in Nepal! And they may or may not be the source of the croc leather in these bags!

More fun - one of the species of Nepalese crocs is called mugger! If I were a rich lady in Manhattan I'd love to tell my friends that my handbag was made from the skin of a mugger!


samael7 said...

Wow, a Hermés shop? Naples definitely moved up in the world. Good for them! I remember that sleepy little snowbird town from a time when the word "shop" was predominantly preceeded by the word "bait."

(The fishing there genuinely was really, really good, as I recall.)

Karen Zipdrive said...

Wow, you managed to tap into a huge pet peeve of mine-- "regular guys" writing about outrageously overpriced luxury goods.
Greene's next column will probably be about how kids today are spoiled rotten with all their cell phones and electronic toys n' such.