Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Juicy Gossip: Film Featuring "Substantiated Outing" About to Make People Feel Awkward, Unclean


The above illustration is strictly a fanciful jest!

Yum, delicious gossip from a Secret Pony Pal™ reveals that everyone is freaking out and dreading the upcoming release of the documentary feature Outrage at the Tribeca Film Festival on April 24. Why? Well, the film is directed by Kirby Dick, who got plenty of attention for the excellent This Film Is Not Yet Rated in 2006, so this is probably a polished and persuasive film. The subject matter is one of my favorites: "conservative" homophobes who like to do a little hairdressing on the side, if you know what I mean, and it sounds like Mr. Dick has turned it into a real horror show. Best of all, the film apparently contains a brand new, shiny and candy-like "substantiated outing."

In other words, somebody is about to get booted out of the closet.

Controversial! "The politicals on all sides are poised with their pronouncements," Secret Pony Pal™ writes. Best of all, those killjoys at GLAAD and HRC are miffed, putting their hands on their hips, tisking, etc. Secret Pony Pal™ continues:

"GLAAD and HRC are stammering over how to receive the film. [T]he movie consumed over half of GLAAD's Leadership Team conference call yesterday afternoon--seems lots of national people are very flustered about the film upsetting the agenda...pity!"


Pity, indeed! They don't like that naughty, mean-queen outing stuff. It can totally cast an awkward pall over an otherwise delightful cocktail party. But I can't wait! Yay! Who will it be? Will it finally be Mitch? [EDIT: Lindsey?] I hope it's not just tired old David Dreier again.

24 comments:

s2dbaker said...

Girlfriend Please! You KNOW it's gonna be Lindsey Graham ( again ).

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

OMG, please let it be Lindsey! That would be the greatest.

Toriko said...

I have seen "This Film is Not Yet Rated" and that was a fantastic docco. It played on one of our public stations Down Under. I too am giddy with excitement about this film.

I am feeling vaguely surprised that GLAAD and HRC are uncomfortable with the idea of this docco, then again I shouldn't be. Sometimes it seems like they are more caught up in the DC scene than in their attempts to promote tolerance and ferret out hypocrisy.

Cynica said...

very flustered about the film upsetting the agenda.

Wait, you mean there IS a homosexual agenda? And I've been laughing at that all this time...

Karen Zipdrive said...

I'm hoping it's John Bo(h)ner.
I mean, his name already sounds like the star of a gay porn movie, and with that perma tan, well, my hair is already looking more salon fresh.
Besides, Lindsey Graham is too obvious. What would be the shock there after we've all seen him with his lips all over John McCain's ass?

TRex said...

"his lips all over John McCain's ass?"

Nurse, one large Brain Bleach™ please, stat!

rbohemian said...

Oh Princess, you SO got me excited when I saw John Cornyn in your montage. It was a bit of a letdown to read that it was for illustrative purposes only. Oh please let it be him, that would be SO sweet! Especially if he and our Gov. GoodHair (Rick Perry) were an item!

Anonymous said...

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let it be John Boehner (R-Hell). Sweet Zombie Jesus would that be the bestest thing ever?!?

I would also take Mitch "I eat puppies" McConnell for $200 Alex.

Lindsay Graham is WAY too obvious.

I will also say this because I never gave it too much thought until I saw him at the inauguration, but I'm pretty sure JC Watts is gay.

Matty Boy said...

Everybody typing "Oh, please let it be..." has put the Vicki Carr song It Must Be Him playing non-stop on the iPod in my head.

I am planning on suing every last one of you. Be advised.

Lindsey Graham would be the most fun. Does this make McCain a fag hag?

justlovely said...

If the Cons want to believe there's a homosexual agenda, I say give them one. The agenda should be to out every last hypocrite. Maybe that will shut them all up once and for all.

GLAAD and HRC, this is war. The other side plays dirty, but we don't have to get down to their level in order to win. All we have to do is tell the truth.

Can't wait to see the movie.

dguzman said...

Excellent! I too am wondering how "the agenda" will be upset by this film. Hell, I say we should out the lot of them! Then the real basic truths would all be out in the open:
1. Dems don't pay their full taxes.
2. Repubs are all closet cases.

I mean, is there any doubt?

HRH King Friday XIII, Ret. said...

FUCK HRC.

People--- stop going to thier chidlish dinners. And by dinners I mean their black tie circle jerks.

Sam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Terry in Silver Spring said...

Well, you know for sure that it's not Michelle Bachmann the way she had her tongue down George's throat at the State of the Union a few years back.

Honestly, I don't like the idea of outing, but I dislike rampant hypocracy even more. So I'm torn.

Anonymous said...

Not Michelle, but how about her husband Marcus?

Jamie said...

What if it's just Charlie Crist? That would be even more obvious than Lindsey.

Chris said...

Michele Bachmann and Marilyn Musgrave.

Pink tongues quickly flickering in the candleli...err, I'll be in my bunk.

Aside from that...um...no at McCain. Any of the Southern Republican Congresscritters would be amazing, though. Secretly, I'm kind of holding out hope for Saxby Chambliss, if only because he angers me on multiple levels. (And I'm like 1000 miles away from his state!)

Or what about the other senator from SC, Jim DeMint?

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

Crist would be HUGE, as he just got married. To a woman. LOL.

Anonymous said...

How about Eric Cantor? he of the Britney Spears fan club?

Anonymous said...

Shrub?

Karen Zipdrive said...

The Human Rights Campaign does have its share of snooty queens and boring dykes, but the real reason I avoid their expensive galas is because the sight of a jumbo bull dyke wearing a powder blue tuxedo makes me want to scratch my own eyes out.

Madduane said...

Could it be James Imhofe, please?

kimmie said...

Well you know what we say all the time: the Democrats have the big tent, well:

Republicans a small tent- but a really BIG closet.

Anonymous said...

it would be very satisfying to have any of these repubs outed. What about the Condi herself?