Monday, September 29, 2008

Is Sarah Palin Cynical Enough to Politicize Her Daughter's Shotgun Wedding?

A missing sign with Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's picture is taped on a light post as protesters hold signs at a Hold Palin Accountable rally organized by Alaskans For Truth, in Anchorage, Alaska Saturday Sept. 27, 2008. Hundreds of people showed up to demand Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, Sen. John McCain's GOP running mate, uphold her promise to cooperate with the state legislature's investigation into her firing of Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan. (AP Photo/Al Grillo)

That's the latest unsubstantiated rumor, anyway, that the Palins will stage Bristol's forced nuptials right before the election. The real question, though, is if voters are soap-opera-addled enough to fall for it. I'd say that, well, it's up to Bristol, but I doubt she has any real "choice" in the matter. And the baby daddy? Hmm... there may have to be actual shotguns involved.

I'm guessing it's going to happen, as the McCain campaign has certainly sunk to some impressive depths. And this is, after all, the same family who sent their son to Iraq not to battle evildoers, but to shake his Oxycontin problem.



Larb Neur said...

In a campaign full of politically brain-dead moves, this pretty much would be the apex. Do they think people are going to tune in and adore them like Charles and Diana?

Matty Boy said...

Another fair question is whether Levi and Bristol will stay married as long as Chris Kattan and Sunshine Tutt did.

If they do make it to the eight week mark, it will be well after the election, and God willing, none of us will have to care anymore.

I don't want Caribou Barbie as V.P., but I hope VH-1 can negotiate a deal to turn their lives into a reality show. I might even watch this one.

FranIAm said...

"Caribou dreams and trailer park nightmares" can be the name of the VH1 program about Bristol, Levi and baby Boondoggle Jack.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Oh, I'm sure after the Palin trailer park explodes, the whole family will agree to do some kind of fucked up reality show.
After all, two high school dropouts with two (yes I said two) babies to rear need all the dough they can get.
And methinks Sarah Palin might not be governor for long.

g said...

Has anyone been struck, as I have, that nowhere have I ever heard Palin express any concern that Track might be killed or injured?

As a mother of a young man, I would have a healthy dose of fear and concern if I were sending my son to war - even if I was proud of him.

In one interview (I think it was the Hannity one), Palin actually described Track's service in Iraq as "he's off doin' his thing."

I have never heard her express a mother's concern about her kids. I've heard her assert that she's "A Mom!!!!!" but never seen her act motherly.

Carmen Sutra said...

g - I'm pretty sure Caribou Barbie knows her son will never be put in harms way. He'll probably be assigned to pouring coffee for diplomats in the Green Zone's deepest bunker.

Besides, concern for his welfare might imply that we aren't "winning".

dguzman said...

The real question is how much money's been promised to RedneckHubby for his presence at the nuptials.

Anonymous said...

Didn't you hear? The marriage is off. She's now going to marry
Batboy. That story was in the same well-respected journal that
broke the oxycontin story.

BadTux said...

I called the Wasilla Wal-Mart at 907-376-9780 to see if the proud bride and groom had registered for their bridal shower yet, but no such joy.

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

Anonymous said...

I thought they would pay off poor old Levi, but then a friend convinced me that the put the gun right up to his head and told him what was going to happen. Paying someone is for suckers, these guys just jammed him up and all he got was a haircut he didn't want, clothes he would never buy himself and front row tickets to events he would never attend.

That boy is f@#ked.

Anonymous said...

"Didn't you hear? The marriage is off. She's now going to marry
Batboy. That story was in the same well-respected journal that
broke the oxycontin story."

Alas, Batboy was a recurring figure in the Weekly World News, a seminal journal of contemporary culture which exists no more. The oxycontin story was in the Enquirer, a much more prosaic paper, and one that will never bring us a story of a goldfish rescuing its owners from a fiery death.