Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Jesus via Orwell



Several other bloggers (Jesus' General, for instance) have written about the delightfully manly Jesus action figures offered by wearefishermen.com, but I haven't seen anybody else comment on the "War is Peace" theme of the figure above, a toy which enthusiastically earns the "unbelievably not photoshopped" label. I love how fashion-forward Jesus nonchalantly throws his robe over his combat fatigues almost as an afterthought. Maybe it's a Kevlar robe? Also, the IED in the form of a dove? Genius! I can't wait for the "Freedom is Slavery" and "Ignorance is Strength" figures. God in three persons, indeed! Yay!

I also think that all our troops should be immediately equipped with shiny golden crowns o' thorns and robes. I mean... how conceptually accurate would that be?

13 comments:

Fran said...

Rare moment...
I.
Am.
Speechless.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Somehow putting Jesus in combat fatigues illustrates what we're up against.
If Jesus were around, I think he'd smite these blood thirsty imbeciles.

No Marsupial Equivalent said...

I was just noticing how much this here manly J the C looks like Chuck Norris. Also really happy he has those kneepads, equally effective for firing his rifle and praying.

Ultimately, the whole thing just says "inside the mind of a mass murderer" to me...

Matty Boy said...

With all the goofy mixed messages here, I'm having a hard time believing this isn't a parody like Kevin Smith's Buddy Christ™ from the movie Dogma.

Instead of enumerating all the oddness and leaving a comment of PleaseGetYourOwnBlog length, let me say something positive about Staff Sergeant Jesus. The fingerless gloves make sense, just in case the bird goes poopy in The Lamb of God's hand.

Charlotte said...

Hey, all the action figures wear that overcoat, though. I guess it's an attempt, however misguided, to make JC more hip (check out the motorcycle figure "I am freedom" or the homeless figure "I am hope") and closer to the action figure crowd. The story behind the fatigues figure "I am peace" is apparently that he's taken the helmet off and is carrying the dove instead of a rifle. Cheesy? Yes. But hey, have you ever had to sell a 2000-year-old myth?

What gets me is that nobody ever realizes that, most likely, JC wasn't some fair-skinned dude with a nicely groomed beard. These days, most folks wouldn't allow a guy like this into their pretty white churches ...

HRH King Friday XIII said...

"Hallowed are the Ori."

HRH King Friday XIII said...

OMG Princess... did you see the metro section of the post today? Queen Elizabeth is comming to town. Actaully, she's going to Virginia. Because when people think of red-neck Virginia, they immediately picture British Royalty.

mother of jehu said...

I can't wait to collect the whole set! Jesus the Dude Brah! Gnarly extreme sports Guy! Will sit next to my Ann Coulter doll, GW (mission accomplised) doll, and Sid Vicious doll. At night they will come alive and beat each other up! Joy! Joy!

isabelita said...

Wow, there's a rockclimbing JC, at the end of the line up! I bet he's an amazing climber, bein' holy and all. So funny, can't wait to show my son who's a climber!

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

The Queen's visit will result in some superb photo-ops, I'm sure.

British Royalty, though, is something that has always failed, uncharacteristically, to catch my fickle attention.

pissed off patricia said...

Jesus in camo..... What's he doing, dove hunting?

Jess Wundrun said...

Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. And when they don't thy lordly AK-47 is thy back-up.

Keep us eternally in your grace and out of your line of fire, O Cammo Christ.

Ricky Shambles said...

Some Christ-y analysis for Combat "I am Peace" Jesus. Warning: Tommy Chong reference.

Combat Jesus makes Baby Jesus Cry.