Please Be Concerned about Concerned Women of America's Infected Toy Concerns

Ah yes, those hidden little nuggets of cultural disease lurking innocently just beneath the skins of the most inane-looking playthings. Please head the warnings of the always bubbly and vivacious (as long as nothing gets out of line) Beverly LaHaye Institute (via Agape Press, obvs) and make sure little Amber and Jason don't fall prey to clever little pro-fudgepacking and otherwise Satanic messages concealed within their Legos and My Little Pony (Gulp!) play sets.

Here are some toys to avoid:

• Partial-Birth-Abort-Me Elmo
• Tom of Finland GI Joe play set
• Trannsformer Robots
• My Pet Sacrificial Goat
• Junior Stem-Cell chemistry kit
• STD trading cards
• Babel Japanese schoolgirl action figure with skirt-lifting action
• "Tiffany Cheney Has Two Mommies" book and CD set
  

And, of course, when purchasing DVDs for your children, make sure you're buying the real thing and not the porno version (see above).