Step Five: Brownback '08!
Sure, we all want to be spittle-flecked, hysterical religious whack-jobs, but wbere to start? Thank goodness for Chuck Baldwin, the former VP candidate from the Silly Party (the hilariously-named Constitution Party), and noteworthy radio chucklehead, because he's just published a handy and inspirational call-to-arms titled "What Christians Can Do". It's an easy step-by-step process, it turns out:
- Ditch your girly church and find a suitably fanatical one. This may require additional travel time and/or relocation.
- Hide in a cave with nothing but World Net Daily and Christian talk radio. Even Fox News, shockingly, can't be trusted.
- Leave the GOP. They simply aren't committed enough to serious craziness.
- Close your eyes and pray.