Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Hamburger Mary

John Milanos was cooking a hamburger on his George Foreman Grill last week in Missouri.

After he was done, he said the Holy Mother's face appeared in the leftover grease.

The grease was in a small plastic drip pan that catches the grease and other fluids that run off the grill.

Milanos saved the grease in his refrigerator so he could show his friends and the makers of the George Foreman Grill.

So far, the company has not responded to Milanos.
Yes, that wily Virgin is at it again, this time appearing in congealed fat, blood and, probably, A1 sauce. You know, she has got to get a better agent. Also, what's with all the public appearances this past week? Is she promoting a movie? A tell-all biography? Is she exclusively appearing in junk food, or can we expect her image to arrive in tofu form to broaden her demographic? Will she do Colbert? Questions, questions.

I liked how NBC presented this story this morning, with the newscasters openly mocking Mary's latest downscale visage. "We all know this is stupid," they seemed to be saying. And yet, there they were "reporting" about it!


LinF said...

Perhaps Mary is seeking her own reality show. Each week she shows her image in various food items and the audience is left hanging each week as to how she will appear next.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Down here in San Antonio, you would not believe how many images of the blessed mother appear in the browned parts of flour tortillas.
Not only that, some dude has a tree that seeps water from a section of its bark, and people are lining up to drink the "tears of Jesus."

pissed off patricia said...

I thought I saw her the other day but it was too late, I had already hit the flush handle. She swirled round and round and then she was gone.

Sarah Letnes said...

I think it's more likely that there are waves of slow news days, instead of Mary sightings. It's not like they can talk about John Mark Karr and what he ate on the plane all day long.

It warms the cockles of my heart to know that news media thinks most Americans are stupid.

Blue Gal said...

I love pissed off patricia. What if everybody who actually thinks the BVM appears in random material objects actually started like, loving their neighbor? I'll bet the world would get all blessed and shit.

Oh. I didn't mean that BVM turd, though, Patricia.

Carmen Sutra said...

All hail Patricia! I can't wait till the next sighting so I can steal that!

Lulu Maude said...

Perhaps images of John Karr will appear in grease traps of restaurants.

dusty said...

Reporting on Virgin sightings beats giving us real news..