Monday, November 24, 2008

WARNING: Cutesy Charmin Publicity Stunt Wants to Lure You Into a Complex, Unpalatable, Freudian Web

OK, so I troll through a lot of wire service photos, and sometimes something dumb will catch my eye. In this case, an obvious publicity stunt that the Associated Press went ahead and photographed because, you know, why not? This is pathos:

Lisa Grant, center, attracts costumers wearing a toilet seat costume outside the 20 stall Charmin public restroom in New York's Times Square Monday, Nov. 24, 2008. They'll be open daily through the end of the year except Christmas Day. For the first time, they'll be open on New Year's Day until 2 a.m. for the crowd watching the 2009 ball drop. (AP Photo/Mary Altaffer)

BEST JOB EVER. So cute! I also love the shape of the arrow. Restrooms and a Duracell Power Lodge™? Vibratastic!

And, oh, how lovable, here are their stalls with their enchanting Animals who Adorably Have to Piss or Shit motifs. OMG, I always love that:

What does it all mean? The metaphors are simply too complex. The red bear totally makes me want to know more about the Duracell Power Lodge™. Actually, I changed my mind. I totally don't want to know.

Inside the stalls, things take a stranger, far more sinister turn:

What, exactly, is going on in those graphics? You are the bear who does not shit in the woods. We are all the bear who does not shit in the woods. And is that picture on the stall an enthusiastic, cheering crowd? Watching you go to the bathroom? How do you feel about this? Are they filming you? Are you sure?

So anyway, if you're in New York City, and you're in Times Square, just... hold it in, because this place is going to totally fuck your head up good.


rptrcub said...

This is more fucked up than the mental picture of Ann Coulter fucking Bill O'Reilly.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, rptrcub, now 2 more images to haunt my nightmares. And Charmin gives me the hemmies. Sorry, Princess, if that's to graphic, feel free to delete.

Mistress Cynica said...

I miss Mr. Whipple. "Please don't squeeze the Charmin" -- it was a simpler time. *sigh*

Fran said...

This is one disturbing loo. I do not want graphics of hands coming at me when I am doing my "business".
There is a reason why people do not decorate their bathrooms like this.... it's unsettling.

As for the toilet could not pay me enough money to wear that thing- especially on the streets of NYC.

But Having glanced @ the Bush photos, that costume is perfect for him. I'm thinking his farewell outfit for the inauguration??

TRex said...

Strangest post I've read all morning. But those bogs still doen't compare with the ones in Tokyo which pretty much do everything but lick your bottom clean a la Lexx. And with Hello Kitty stickers on the wall! Surreal.

Diane Griffin said...

I love things that are cheerfully disturbing. However, I think this bathroom actually might be great, if you're 2 or 3 years old...

Fran said...


laughter induced bone breakage

talk about a bathroom handjob. jesus on a fucking waffle this is rich.

and so sad. people dressed as subway sandwiches is one thing. as a toilet?

welcome to the new depression.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I'll never again complain about my job.

Kelster93 said...

The foot decals are there to avoid any problematic "wide stance" issues in the public facility... see, it's actually a thoughtful design feature!

Civic Center said...

Back when I used to take hallucinogens on an occasional basis, this is the kind of thing I would always manage to run across while peaking on acid. I'm afraid you've just given me one of those imfamous flashbacks.

joy-c said...

Okay, so, you're doing your business to art that looks like it was taken from the set of 28 Days Later?

NYC public bathrooms are in really short supply, but that's creepy.

dguzman said...

So disturbing.

I'm holding it.

Epiphenita said...

my freaking brilliant coworker oliver pointed out that trixie is exiting the stall with a hershey's bag. let me repeat, she is exiting the little squirt's room with a bag of hersheys.