Thursday, September 25, 2008

Catholic League Warns All of Us Making Fun of Sarah Palin that Witchcraft in Africa is Real

(The only witch I believe in)

Some of you probably saw that boring video thingee where Sarah Palin is getting totally protected from witchcraft or whatever. Oh, how we laughed! Right down to our culturally elite loafers! But the Catholic League, in a spirited defense of Ms. Palin, has some sobering news for us:

Witchcraft is a sad reality in many parts of Africa, resulting in scores of deaths in Kenya over the past two decades. Bishop Muthee’s blessing, then, was simply a reflection of his cultural understanding of evil. While others are not obliged to accept his interpretation, all can be expected to respect it.

Is that right? For reals? How were these deaths caused? Was it the Avada Kedavra curse? Or are there other magical means of killing not documented in JK Rowling's authoritative work on the subject? So many questions! We totally need to bring back squassation.

OMG, just in Kenya, though, right? Heck, I'm never going there. Spooky!

And I'm "expected to respect" this why?

UPDATE: A long, lonnnnng post in the comment section (the kind I usually delete) points out that maybe the Catholic League is referring to all the many, many people who die during the course of being accused of practicing witchcraft. So witchcraft in Africa isn't the problem, but belief in witchcraft is. OMG, shades of gray, whatever!


Anonymous said...

Please don't let's start talking about witchcraft in Kenya, considering the ancestry of a certain you-know-hoo.

Fortunately most "mainstream evangelicals" (think: jumbo shrimp) are freaked out by Pentecostalism. This will probably turn off a lot of the bat-shit Christian crazies, even though their own big-tent preachers engage in a bit of charismatic Baptist voodoo from time to time.

Not that I have anything against charismatic worship, or Pentecostals or Baptists, on their faces. As a Catholic who's considering un-lapsing, I'm not unsympathetic to people of faith. It's the politics that come from some corners of these religious sects that are the problem (to wit, this topic).

CJ said...

According to Ronald Maxwell of the Huffington Post, Pastor Muthee, (the guest pastor from Kenya who had prayed over Sarah Palin when she was running for Governor of Alaska) began his life in ministry in Africa by hunting down a local woman named Mama Jane after proclaiming her a witch. Six months of fervent prayer and research identified the source of the witchcraft as a local woman called Mama Jane, who ran a “divination” centre called the Emmanuel Clinic in Kiambu, Kenya. Her alleged involvement in fortune-telling and the fact that she lived near the site of a number of fatal car accidents led Pastor Muthee to publicly declare her a witch responsible for the town’s ills, and order her to offer up her soul for salvation or leave Kiambu. After Pastor Muthee declared Mama Jane a witch, the townspeople became suspicious and began to turn on her, demanding that she be stoned. Public outrage eventually led the police to raid her home, where they fired gunshots, killing a pet python which they believed to be a demon.”

Also, according to The Huffington Post, in August, 1999, Paul Harris wrote the following report, which appeared in Britain’s Sunday Telegraph under the headline, "Hundreds burnt to death in Tanzanian witch-hunt":

“Lynch mobs have killed hundreds of Tanzanians whom they accuse of witchcraft as black magic hysteria sweeps East Africa. Most of the usually elderly victims have been beaten or burnt to death by gangs of youths. Some old women have been singled out simply because they have red eyes — regarded as a sign of sorcery by their assailants. The condition is actually caused by years of toiling in smoky kitchens cooking family meals. … Police say 357 suspected witches have been killed in the past 18 months, but the Ministry of Home Affairs believes that the true figure is much higher. A departmental survey said as many as 5,000 people were lynched between 1994 and 1998.”

Some of these nuts are even attacking little children, declaring them to be witches:

"Mary Sudnad, 10, grimaces as her hair is pulled into corn rows by Agnes, 11, but the scalp just above her forehead is bald and blistered. Mary tells her story fast, in staccato, staring fixedly at the ground.
'My youngest brother died. The pastor told my mother it was because I was a witch. Three men came to my house. I didn't know these men. My mother left the house. Left these men. They beat me.' She pushes her fists under her chin to show how her father lay, stretched out on his stomach on the floor of their hut, watching. After the beating there was a trip to the church for 'a deliverance'.
A day later there was a walk in the bush with her mother. They picked poisonous 'asiri' berries that were made into a draught and forced down Mary's throat. If that didn't kill her, her mother warned her, then it would be a barbed-wire hanging. Finally her mother threw boiling water and caustic soda over her head and body, and her father dumped his screaming daughter in a field. Drifting in and out of consciousness, she stayed near the house for a long time before finally slinking off into the bush.Mary was seven. She says she still doesn't feel safe. She says: 'My mother doesn't love me.' And, finally, a tear streaks down her beautiful face.
The Guardian UK Observer, 12/09/07, written by Tracey McVeigh in Esit Eket

According to an article by Digital Journal, Palin has actually gone on record as linking her success to Murthee, who some would say is a modern day African Cotton Mather who harasses crazy old women from their homes:

" It was upon the basis of this anti-witch crusade that Muthee came to preach at Sarah Palin’s church in Wasilla in 2005, as Palin was preparing to campaign for Governor of Alaska, and then again in 2008. When Muthee first visited Alaska, Sarah Palin, hearing of Muthee’s witch-fighting prowess, asked Muthee to pray over her to give her the power to become Governor of Alaska. Palin believes that Muthee’s ability to gain the favor of God is what won the election for her, not the voters. Because of the supernatural powers of Muthee, God himself appointed her to be Governor.

Palin is quoted as gushing,

“And I’m thinking, this guy’s really bold, he doesn’t even know what I’m going to do, he doesn’t know what my plans are. And he’s praying not “Oh Lord, if it be your will may she become governor,” no, he just prayed for it. He said, “Lord make a way and let her do this next step. And that’s exactly what happened.”


Matthew Hubbard said...

You are expected to respect this because of the respect the Catholic Church shows to hairdressers like yourself.

Distributorcap said...

why didnt Palin named her daughter Tabitha?

HRH King Friday XIII, Ret. said...

I want a video of her speaking in tounges or something. Something fun.

Peteykins said...

why didnt Palin named her daughter Tabitha?

Too many syllables.

Diane Griffin said...

I believe in Samantha too! But why did she become a Republican?

Anonymous said...

Can I point out that the Catholic League is one sad loser who's office is in the basement of his house? Really. He ain't representing Catholics at large, no matter what he wants you to think.

dguzman said...

Terry's comment certainly puts a different spin on this, eh?

Seems to me that Palin's beening using the Imperius Curse if anything, getting people into her thrall. Where's Lord Voldy when you need him?

Anonymous said...

Enough of this. I want shoes, hair, earrings, designer duds...
I am beginning to bore with all this political stuff, I need news.

Lulu Maude said...

Samantha for President!

Is it too late?

Oh, right... she is no longer With Us.

samael7 said...

Wait, doesn't Sarah Palin have two children named after witches?

1) Piper, a witch from Charmed

2) Willow, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer witch?

I smell a witchy-sleeper cell.

(Favorite line from the Joss Whedon-scribed BtVS comic from Willow: "I'm as sensitive to stereotypes as the next wiccan lesbian Jewess...")

Anonymous said...

Pitbull hair and ruby lips
Ice fly from her finger tips
Echoed voices from the right
She's restless in the land of endless night
Wooo hooo witchy woman, see how
high she flies
Woo hoo witchy woman she got
McCain in her eye...

[Apologies to Don Henley, even though he really doesn't deserve them...]

rbohemian said...

drew in sf - Thank you for the hilarious and inspired lyric. Thanks also for the snarky comment about Don Henley! Really, as wonderful as PSP is, the commenters are usually funny and articulate as well. Happy, extremely satisfied sigh.

Fran said...

Jesus fecking Christ on a cracker... a post about something Catholic and the resident Catholic misses the boat?

Oh how my people embarrass me.

Bloviating blowhards and f*cktards.


Glennis said...

So when
they talk about "witchcraft" it's not about some existential power
they contend with, it's a belief.

I don't know about the Catholics, but clearly Pastor Muthee believed the witchcraft was a real existential power - or at least, encouraged his followers to believe it. He accused Mama Jane of actually causing car accidents by her magic.

Unless he really didn't believe she was using magic, and instead he picked a popular and powerful community leader to demonize in order to elevate himself in her place.

Stupid superstition or cynical political manipulation? You decide!!!!

Anonymous said...

This from someone who believes he is eating the body and drinking the blood of his Savior. Sorry, it just had to be said.

Karen Zipdrive said...

1. Why do argumentative people always do so anonymously? Just wondering.

2. It's fine if a third world preacher visits an American holy roller church, but for Palin to agree to be prayed over to protect her from witchcraft ON TAPE is pretty freakin' out there.
Had that been Obama with that African JuJu man jibberjabbering over him, the evangelicals would be coming after him with lit torches and buckets of gasoline.
I have no trouble with Christ, but some of his most zealous devotees are crazier than Hell.
And I do mean Palin and her ilk.

Peteykins said...

Tiresome, isn't it, Karen? It's totally all, like, "OMG, I'm totally scoring in an argument against the Condi hairdo blogger! I'm smart!"

I've deleted the entire exchange because it's boring and stupid.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Right you are, PSP.
I used to engage anonymous blowhards on my blog, but they always want to elevate the argument and get in the last word.
Now I just delete anything I don't like. I don't pester right-wing bloggers and I deserve the same courtesy.

Anonymous said...

'cept you missed one from "g" which actually includes some
of the offending text. Better censor that one before someone
gets infected!

And would it have been left had it not been anonymous? No,
don't think so. It's not so much the anonymity as it is the lack of
echo chamber agreement, what you call "being smart". Right?

Better hurry up and delete this before someone reads it!!!! Hurry!
And don't give a second thought to censoring people either because
you heard Karen's echo from the echo chamber didn't you?

"You're right PSP" echo
"You're right PSP" echo
"You're right PSP" echo

Too bad the rest of the world isn't like my blog where I could
control what everyone says.

Peteykins said...

God, trolling Princess Sparkle Pony. How pathetic is that?

Wendy Stackhouse said...

We are only a small step from connecting witchcraft in Obama's Kenyan Obama is a warlock!

Anonymous said...

"God, trolling Princess Sparkle Pony. How pathetic is that?"

You're right PSP.


Peteykins said...

OMG, is there an echo in here? LOL!