Well, it turns out that I'm enough of an asshole to
One thing, though, Jeff: secular card? Bad form! What would Bill O'Reilly say?
*UPDATE: In the comments, Mr. Gannon corrects me, pointing out that it wasn't, after all, a Christmas card, and provides the full text of the card. And with that, the whole thing makes less sense than ever! Yay!
God, how embarrassed I am to walk into Jeff's sad little trap.