Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Condoleezza Rice: Now Just a Walker for Nancy Reagan

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (L) and Foreign Minister of Australia Alexander Downer (R) escort former first lady Nancy Reagan to her seat as they enter to deliver remarks after meeting in a dialogue on foreign policy at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, California May 23, 2007. (Danny Moloshok/Reuters)

The Widow Reagan shows who's who in the food chain pretty directly, I'd say. I'm totally sure that's the labor-saving Disneytronic Condibot rather than the genuine article, though, because why would the real Condi waste her time at this ridiculous event? I mean... a dialogue on foreign policy with Australia? Are you kidding me? They really are our only remaining ally, I guess.*

But I'm sure the Reagan Library treated the Condibot carefully and even lovingly. And look! They even set up a perfect (if a tad rectilinear) matching armchairs photo-op to make her feel at home; a habitrail-of-sorts for the distinguished visiting diplobot:

OK, so it's a bit severe compared to the State Department's matching armchairs gold standard, but four out of five of the elements are present in technically perfect form (matching armchairs, fireplace, patterned rug, small and tasteful flower arrangement), if a little inelegant. The only thing keeping this from a perfect score is, of course, the placement of the flower arrangement, which should be on a small, centrally-placed table (the fifth element, as it were).

*Plus, I bet they had to send the Condibot, because the real one is probably still stuck in that cactus patch back in Texas.


Toriko said...

There is an election brewing in Down Under, and if Labour wins Australia might decide its sick of doing EVERYTHING America ever asks of us. John Howard has been promised a free trade agreement, like, five brazillion times and America is always like, sike (insert picture of Lucy yanking the football away from Charlie)

St Edward the Confessor said...

I am having the worst thought and it involves having a song stuck in my head.

When I was a kid(60's) there was some telethon (not Jerry Lewis) for kids with a disease, maybe CP. They had a little theme song which they'd sing (oh this is painful to recall and to write about)... It went like this "look at us we're walking, look at us we're talking, things we've never done before!"

The whole family(liquor was usually involved) would be around the tv (it was 1967 after all and only one tv!) and we'd all join in a chorus or two. Argh. Sorry to make this therapy night.

Anyway, on a completely ridiculous note it is exactly the song that came FLYING into my mind upon seeing Condi and Co helping Fancy Nancy make her way down the corridor.

Anonymous said...

I always thought it was spelled "psyche". Anyway, enough of the word games. I'm here to get the get the phone number of that charming AAILF with the rockin legs. Shes a hottie.

Anonymous said...

I know that we're all supposed to admire her now because of her selfless dedication to keeping the Gipper from drooling on himself for the last ten years of his life, but please oh please won't someone please (please?) inform the Widow Reagan that at age, what, 122 or something, it's time she starts wearing a blouse?

Also, the visage reminds me of David Rakoff's essay on one school of California plastic surgery, which produces a result not so much youthful as juicy. Not too disconcerting at 55 or 60, but once you get further up there it's just... odd.

Matthew Hubbard said...

You're right about the armchairs, Princess. They were bought at Mervyn's and on sale, to boot.

Anonymous said...

Totally the condibot. You can tell because of the big pearl necklace. Yes, sometimes real condi wears the necklace, but that's just to throw us off a tad.

Fran, I remember the song well. It has now replaced the Monkey Song as today's earworm. Gracias.

Anonymous said...

To hell with you liberals. Those are the best damn pair of legs in Washington. Period.

No wonder the Chinese got so randy....

Anonymous said...

>best damn pair of legs in Washington.

Yes, "Attractive, for Washington," is quite the high standard.

Other nominations for Best-of-the-Beltway categories?

"Compassionate, for the Oval Office"?

Karen Zipdrive said...

I think Ann Coulter might challenge you about that great legs claim.
After all, her only claim to fame is being the only remotely fuckable GOP woman in all of American punditry.
I'm not saying she's attractive TO ME, I'm just saying those old men of the GOP occasionally want some one to screw besides young boys, Colombian hookers and the American people.

pissed off patricia said...

Looks like they are spelling out some secret code with their legs.

Anonymous said...

Condoleezza Legs very wonderful,I will kiss Condoleezzas Legs.