Thursday, December 14, 2006

Hot to Trot for Ben Bot!

Dutch Foreign Minister Ben Bot is reflected in the side of the building as he speaks to the media on arrival for an EU summit in Brussels, Thursday Dec. 14, 2006. Leaders of the 25 European Union nations are expected to endorse a partial freeze on entry talks with Turkey, and set about making it harder for any other countries waiting on the bloc's doorstep to join. Enlargement fatigue, the faltering constitution and how to stem the flow of illegal immigration also are on the summit agenda. (AP Photo/Geert Vanden Wijngaert)
I'm sure most of you think I'm a hopeless diplomatrix skirt-chaser, and for the most part, that's true. Condi, Karen, Ursula, Tzipi... sigh. They're all just so dreamy! But what do I like in a boy? Whatever Condi likes, natch! And didn't we all love it when the Ben Bot met the Condibot? Yes, we did; we all loved it:

10/03/06 (AP Photo/Charles Dharapak)

And up top you can see a photo from today, showing the Ben Bot momentarily distracted by his own reflection, marveling at the utterly convincing flesh created by his builders. Did I say utterly convincing? Well, see for yourself:

Indeed, that's what I like in a boy: fine craftsmanship and cutting-edge technology, if a little rough-hewn in the design department (nods to utilitarian function are nevertheless appreciated). You know, the same things I look for in a watch a vacuum cleaner. Others, however, have a different reaction to the Ben Bot's unique visage. Here, for instance, is the President of Syria laughing right in his face:

Syrian President Bashar Assad meets Dutch Foreign Minister, Ben Bot in Damascus on Tuesday Dec. 12, 2006. Bot told reporters at a press conference at the end of his talks with Syrian leadership that he had "good and constructive" talks with Syrian officials. (AP PHOTO /SANA)
Can't you just hear the guy saying, "Haw, Haw! Is it real?" But, hey, at least he's talking to the President of Syria (and the foreign minister of Iran), right? Hmmm... maybe somebody (hint, hint, Dr. Ferragamo!) could learn a thing or two from this Dutch Bot? Eh, probably not.

But let's hear it for the Ben Bot! Ben Bot Fights Rot! Ask not what you can do for Ben Bot, but what Ben Bot can do for you! Um, or something like that:


Anonymous said...

Fans of Futurama will remember Bender, the rude, drunken, completely undiplomatic robot who filled the Homer Simpson role on the Matt Groening creation of a few years back. Though they have similar names, we have to assume there is NO RELATION between these two.

On the other hand, if after a few too many Heinekens, we hear Minister Bot say something along the lines of "You can kiss my bony Dutch ass!", I will quietly take credit for being the first one to spot this.

Civic Center said...

This was a very abstruse, nay poetic, post, rife with Philip K. Dick imagery. Thank you for hinting at the heart of the matter.

Anonymous said...

So I guess it is fair to say that Condi enjoys tickling the ivories?

Anonymous said...

I think he looks like Boris Karloff guest hosting the Tonight Show. Only, you know, like, it's a robot BK.

Anonymous said...

Personally, I get all hot for that Vitalis hair tonic look.

Anonymous said...

While Edith's Friend says Herr Bot looks like Boris Karloff, I was going to go with Jack Palance, but with more human warmth. (Not a difficult task to perform.)

Carmen Sutra said...

Do you really think of Bashar as going "haw haw"? I imagine him giggling like a little girl.

Also, have you ever noticed that Bashar looks absolutely nothing like his dad? I'm just saying.