Tuesday, September 12, 2006

She's Not Condi; She Just Plays Her on TV

I heard that ABC did this boring miniseries on 9/11, and just all the bloggers piled on and, I guess, they were critical. *Yawn* And, you know, nothing makes me ignore a topic quite like John Aravosis writing, like, 50 posts about it, right?

But then I realized that fictional 9/11 docudrama = fictional Condi! Oh boy! Who got the honor, for lack of a better word, of portraying our heroine? Well, meet Penny Johnson Jerald, seen fabulously above, and not only does she portray Dr. Rice, but she's done it before! Clearly Ms. Jerald has become the go-to gal for Hollywood Condipersonations. Does she look that much like Dr. Ferragamo? Oh my, yes, but it's like somebody's taken La Rice and passed her through a magical pretty machine:

Uncanny, isn't it? You may also have enjoyed Ms. Jerald's recurring role as the wicked Sherry Palmer on 24, a part which probably resembles Condi more closely than the one she played in ABC's Beneath the Valley of 9/11, or whatever it's called. Here, in fact, is Ms. Jerald coming really, really close to admitting as much in an interview with BBC:
Is there anyone in particular that your performance is based on?

No, but there are definitely people that others believe she is based on and that she's similar to. Honestly she comes from deep inside me.

A lot of people believe she was Lady Macbeth. I believe she isn't, because there's a point at which she would stop. She has been faced with points of no return, but still she's managed to get herself out of it. I think she has the intellect and the background of Hillary Clinton and the possibilities of becoming President like Hillary Clinton. I would like to believe she was closer to that except she keeps doing these horrible things.
Seriously, just swap out "Hillary Clinton" for "Condoleezza Rice" and that's as good a description of the latter as you're bound to find anywhere. Could you do any better? But what does Ms. Jerald think about playing the Secretary of State? Oh, I'm so glad you asked, because I had to go to a Star Trek fan site to find out:
Penny Johnson Jerald: A lot of people ask me about playing Condoleezza Rice, because I'm actually playing her again. They ask political questions which I don't really have answers to because I am of a different politics than Condoleezza. But I find myself madly in love with her just from playing her.

Trek Nation: Did you get feedback from her or anyone connected with her?

Penny Johnson Jerald: Absolutely -- the last movie I just finished, which will be out in May, playing Condi, the former senator from New Jersey came up and kept staring at me and he said, 'Condi is not going to believe this. I keep looking at you and pinching myself to make sure it's not her up here with us.' We decided to take a picture in the White House on the set together, and he said, 'When I show this to the president, he's going to say, 'Our secret is out!' I took that to mean, Condi's running the country!
Yikes, I hope not! But there you have it: busy actress makes good modeling herself after Condoleezza Rice. I can't help but think, though, that things would be a lot better if Condi modeled herself after the affable Penny Johnson Jerald instead. For one thing, her fashion sense would be a lot more exciting, as the awesome Pucci gown shown up top proves. Plus, Ms. Jerald is positively fierce, and to prove it, here she is rocking horizontal stripes with impunity:

Wow, just imagine the heart attack Dick Cheney would have if Condi showed up at the Kennedy Center sporting that! Better yet, can we please just replace Condi with Penny? She's obviously a way better actress.


Nasty, Brutish & Short said...

Va Va Vooom!

She sets my right wing heart a racing.

Anonymous said...

She's just not the same without the evil seeping out of her eyes. She could at least have found an invisible friend.

My what a Condi day, Sparklepony. We'll all have lots to dream about tonight.

Anonymous said...

PSP on the Lake!

Anonymous said...

Princess darling,

Why can't the fake Condi be the real Secretary of State?

At least it would be prettier Tee-Vee, and nicer work-outs to look at on the tube.

Maybe less wars too...

Anonymous said...

Princess Sparkle Ponly PLEASE ADDRESS today's NYTimes piece on the lovelife of Dr. Ferragamo!!!!

Civic Center said...

Penny's the bomb and was always my favorite actress in the craptastic 24.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Penny's way too hot to portray Condi.
Condi's part should always be played by a very well trained Boston terrier.