Thursday, March 09, 2006

Jo Ann Emerson Week! Day Four!

And an exciting week it's been, right? Yay! OK, so today's theme is: what the hell happened to Jo Ann? That's her from 2000 above*, and here's a profile shot from the same year:

So how did that in 2000 turn into what we see below in 2005?

Look, I'm no expert, but that just ain't natural. There's more going on here than just a new hairdresser friend who said, "Honey, lose the glasses, dye the hair and wear pink!" Please feel free to irresponsibly speculate.

While you contemplate Representative Emerson's possible enthusiasm for cosmetic surgery, take a moment to enjoy some greatest hits from her voting stats:
  • Rated 0% by NARAL, indicating a pro-life voting record. (Dec 2003)
  • Rated 92% by the US COC, indicating a pro-business voting record. (Dec 2003)
  • Voted YES on prohibiting needle exchange & medical marijuana in DC. (Oct 1999)
  • Voted YES on allowing school prayer during the War on Terror. (Nov 2001)
  • Rated 27% by the NEA, indicating anti-public education votes. (Dec 2003)
  • Supports a Constitutional Amendment for school prayer. (May 1997)
  • Rated 0% by the LCV, indicating anti-environment votes. (Dec 2003)
  • Rated 90% by the Christian Coalition: a pro-family voting record. (Dec 2003)
  • Voted NO on campaign finance reform banning soft-money contributions. (Feb 2002)
  • Voted YES on banning gay adoptions in DC. (Jul 1999)
  • Supports anti-flag desecration amendment. (Mar 2001)
  • Voted YES on Constitutional Amendment banning same-sex marriage. (Sep 2004)
  • Rated 21% by the ACLU, indicating an anti-civil rights voting record. (Dec 2002)
Wow! Neato, Jo Ann! Truly, you are making the world a better place.

*Special thanks to a secret, probably-shouldn't-be-named Pony Pal™ for the picture research!


Anonymous said...

Based on her record, one could only assume that she sold her soul for a new face.......

Anonymous said...

Well, I like Old Sow's theory, but there could be a simplier theory. I know that I would look much more sparkly if I had lobbiests buying my meals and sending me away for weekend long dickings.

She doesn't have a whole lot of work. Her career seems to consist of agreeing with her husband, i mean agreeing with Bush, and cashing checks. It's not like she's concerned with port security.

Sarah Letnes said...

Your secret Pony Pal would have had to work pretty hard to find a more unflattering profile. Gravity just isn't nice to mature women reading notes on a podium.

Regaurdless, she looks a little too bright and shiny in the last pic.

Unknown said...

Jeez louise..thats the same person?

Can you say facelift,chin work, and god knows what else?

I mean, really..its hard to believe its the same rightwing nutjob.

She had a chin implant I swear.

NARAL should take a contract out on her..oh wait..the progressive's dont do that..its the other side that does.

Iris said...

That's some kind of a voting record!
Irresponsible speculation: cheek AND chin implants AND a boob job. That's my vote at least. Note the cheekbones/cleavage in the third photo as opposed to the first two.

samael7 said...

Slapped upside the head with the Mary-Kay/Nip-n-Tuck stick?

Someone check behind her ears for frankenscaring. Alert Estee Lauder.

P.S. My word verification for the day has "Condi" in it. Coincidence . . . or ancient astronauts?

Karen Zipdrive said...

She went from Soccer Mom to the grandmother as played by Vickie Lawrence on the Carol Burnett Show.

Anonymous said...

Zowee, she is Coulterific!

That look must knock 'em dead at the Master Race Speed Dating. Gail Norton seems to be working it too.