Giant Extinct Scorpion Also Mocks Christ, Exposes Liberal Media Bias

I'm a sucker for bizarre and fascinating fossil discoveries, and judging from all these articles about recent discoveries in Scotland, I'm not alone.

And then, suddenly, I was briefly transformed into an undereducated fundamentalist Christian. It was fun at first, but then I quickly got mortally offended by all those news items about the giant extinct scorpion. All of them, without fail, describe the creature, blasphemously, as being 340 million-years-old, flying directly in the face of the truth as laid out in the Bible. I was further dismayed to find that none of the articles featured interviews with any Christian experts, who surely would have pointed out that the beast was obviously from the time of Adam and Eve, you know, five or six thousand years ago, and that, furthermore, there's a good chance the fossils were simply placed on the Earth by the Devil to fool man. Where was the balance? All this easily proved to me that the media had an insidiously secular agenda, aimed at undermining Christianity by planting such innocent-seeming "scientific" propaganda.

I'm glad I snapped out of it before I had the chance to call my sisters and urge them to home-school my niece and nephews.

On a side note, during my brief spell of Faith, I was relieved to see that Fox News did NOT report about the unholy scorpion, but was disgusted to find a blatently Satanic article about birds "evolving" from dinosaurs. Tsk!