Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Today in Condi Non-News

Take a look at this ridiculous article by Associated Press writer Anne Gearan, titled "Some in GOP Hope Rice Runs for President."

Notice anything? A complete lack of important names, perhaps? Who are these Republicans hoping for a Condi run? Well, Gearan sites a Poly-Sci professor from... um... Iowa, and a blogger named Paul, although the author doesn't feel any need to name the blog specifically, and a single web site, americansforrice.com, and... well, that's all.

And, in fact, two of the only attributed quotes in the article come from Condi herself: "No, I will not run for President of the United States," and "I don't want to run for anything. I really don't."

And here's another one, from professor Jack Pitney at the prestigious and influencial (that's sarcasm) Clairmont McKenna College: "She's still a long shot. We can all take this buzz a lot more seriously when she starts saying nice things about ethanol." Professor Pitney! Restrain yourself!

Hmmm... none of this really sounds like clamouring, does it? Slow news day, Anne?

On the other hand, take a look at that web site posted above... they offer Condi gear! Somebody please buy me this hat:


TexasYankee said...


Anonymous said...

Did you follow that link!?!?!

OMG I had no idea there was a magazine called Republican Woman! And what a beautiful scripty typeface - so feminine! What are the articles like? There must be how-to's on Gun Polishing, Sex tips for not having any and endless beef recipes.

This gives me the giantest brainstorm for starting a "sister" publication called "Republican Homo"!!!

The possibilities are mind-boggling. Of course we'll keep the scripty font. There'll interviews with famous Homo-publicans like Sullivan and Gannon, sex tips from same. Hints for supressing cognitive dissonance and internal contradictions. Photo spreads of super masculine republican hotties like Dick and Rick and of course George in his 'Mission Accomplished' codpiece. It'll be sort of like Details or Esquire but more gay and more republican, if thats possible.

Peteykins said...

"Republican Homo". It's got such a winning ring to it! You could put Mary Cheney on the cover of the... wait for it... inaugural issue.

Anonymous said...

No offense, but I see Mary as very much a page 16er. She's just not as spanking hot as Andy. Still we should try and bring in the girls, could she bleach her hair and thow on something latex, oh wait I'm channeling Anne Coulter.