What If Ted Cruz Suddenly Became A Drag Queen?

He's halfway there, isn't he? He already looks like an almost perfect cross between Joe McCarthy and Pee Wee Herman. So, OK, it would be surprising if Ted Cruz showed up to a congressional hearing in a smart St. John Contrast-Trim Milano Blazer (one must dress appropriately for the place, after all!) worn with a silk blouse and a color-blocked pencil skirt, but it would be refreshing, entertaining, and quite possibly even effective! Here's a look at how a typical week for Tia Partay might play out:

• Monday: "I realize we were called back to Capitol Hill on short notice," Harry Reid admonishes Cruz, "but there is NEVER any acceptable excuse for a caftan and slouch boots, Miss Thing."
• Tuesday: Cruz receives standing ovation for latest fake filibuster, not because he accomplished any legislative goal, but because he ended with a rousing lip sync of "I Dreamed a Dream."
• Wednesday: Asked about the latest congressional stalemate, an exasperated Nancy Pelosi bitterly tells reporter, "I don't know when it will end. Why don't you ask Ted Cruz's ASHY KNEES?" Widespread conservative media outrage ensues.
• Thursday:  "It's nice to see," Rachel Maddow wryly observes, "that Erick Erickson, Glenn Beck, and Tucker Carlson are suddenly so passionate about defending ashy knees."
• Friday: After Cruz releases latest fundraising and spending statements, "Lacefrontgate"scandal is born.