Monday, May 20, 2013

Newt Gingrich Gearing Up To Compete On Rupaul's Drag Race?

(AP Photo, PSP flashback to January 1, 2012)

When you do frequent Google News Searches for the words Gingrich or Callista, you never know what you might find: scary things, wonderful things, or, in this case, puzzling things. It's a piece in a small newspaper from Holliston, MA, and I read it over and over, trying to make sense of it all. It turns out that Newt Gingrich is going to open a museum? Or maybe it's a joke, a bit of satire*? The thing is so baffling, I can't make head or tails out of it. This part really made me sit up and take notice:

Standing in front of a magisterial brick Palladian-style model of the soon-to-be-constructed museum on Thursday, Mr. Gingrich, sporting what looked like a $22,000 pair of diamond and gold starburst earrings from Tiffany’s, said that even a flawed presidential library like Mr. Bush’s deserves to live out its days with a peace of mind that comes only with the certainty that a Gingrich answer can provide.

Ha, ha, wait... what? Newt's wearing $22,000 pairs of Tiffany earrings now? Is this an exciting new stage of Callista's makeover of her fading husband? Or perhaps our Beloved Moon Goddess's jewelry box is now so jam-packed with pricey baubles that they're being spit out like watermelon seeds and landing on Newt's earlobes?  Or does Newt want to share some truly unexpected changes in his life with us?

Anyway, there are some visions which really help me start a new week all excited. PICTURES, PLEASE.

*Yes, yes, it's supposed to be satire. 


samael7 said...

I vote for the Drag Race explanation. Certainly in this picture he was letting his slap cook.

Lazy Media said...

If you don't write for The Onion or Duffel Blog, please don't publish fake news stories for larfs. They're dumb and not funny.

The Cat's Meow said...

Newt in $22,000 earrings: Must be a "Gatsby" thing.