Monday, January 21, 2013

CBS News Wanted To Hire An Insightful Political Commentator, But Instead Chose Condoleezza Rice

(Sparkle Pony flashback to April 30, 2006)

I've said before that America's Princess Diplomat is the luckiest duck in the world. She travels from exclusive corporate function to exclusive corporate function, gives the same bland speech and occasionally throws out some benighted opinions about current events, and then goes back to Stanford where evidently not much is expected of her. And at each stop along the way, she picks up her speaker's fee, said to be in the five figures.

And now, as if Condi hasn't enjoyed the largesse of corporate welfare quite enough, we learn that Bob Shieffer has announced that CBS has hired Dr. Ferragamo to be a regular, paid, staff contributor, rather than just having her on for free all the time. This is a particularly rich vindication for Condi, because at one point she was actually banned from CBS for being a "frustrating" talking point mimic.

Longtime Pony Pals may recall that Condi and CBS/Shieffer have a bit of a complicated history! Let's review:

  • March 13, 2005: Bob Shieffer is all, like, "Huminahuminahumina" over Condi's sexy boots.
  • April 30, 2006: "That sounds like a dodge," grouses Bob at Condi's incessant talking points.
  • September 24, 2007: Condi is effectively banned from CBS. Schieffer explains, "I expected we'd just get a repetition of the administration's talking points."

That was then. But now –now!– they'll get superinsightful Condianalysis! Great buy, CBS. Maybe Condi will wear the boots again, Bob.

10 comments:

Aunt Snow said...

No more provost at Stanford, then?

Peteykins said...

No, no! She gets to stay and collect her paycheck at Stanford, too. The CBS gig, after all, is just a part-time thing on the side that pays more than either of us make a year.

Lulu Maude said...

Bob is clearly getting dotty in his dotage.

Yes, the boots will provide enormous consolation to Bob... 'specially if Condi grinds their heels in his bare little back.

Anonymous said...

Watching her on Sunday's show as she complained about the current administration's foreign policy and lack of humility was surreal.The other panelists were apparently too polite to point out the irony.

Anonymous said...

darn left wing media anyhow.

Aunt Snow said...

Want to ask Rand Paul, 'Oh, yeah? And what would you have done with Condi, had you been president then?"

(President of what, the senior class? The guy's a dweeb!)

Anonymous said...

According to my sources at WWD, Dr. Ferragamo is about to ink a deal with the House of ****** to launch her own perfume, Les Cadavres Parfumés.

I want a Condi Date said...

I am trying to keep finding a way not to snort milk out my nose as I munch a chocolate chip cookie and watch this waste of space vacillate in perpetuity between the limits of all to the right of completely stupid dumbass and to the infinity of not an intelligent thought in her ugly odd shaped head.

Anonymous said...

I want a CONDI DATE. I am so in need of fascinating dinner conversation, and she seems a little tense...

Anonymous said...

Appalling. Why can't she just teach piano (or maybe skating) to high schoolers in Denver?