Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Politico Wants To Know, Because, Ummm, Well, Whatever, No Reason, If Aaron Schock Thinks Paul Ryan Is Hot


Why do reporters keep asking Gay Aaron Schock™, who is officially not gay, these gay, gay, gay questions? Now it's Politico, and they want to know what Aaron thinks about Paul Ryan's body, because if any male Republican has a valid opinion on the fitness of a particular male body, it's Gay Aaron Schock™, am I right?

"But you know he's ten years older than me so ah, but he's in great shape," Schock stammered, adorably, all the while desperately attempting to appear heavy in his loafers. So ah... So ah... So ah... he's not your type? Not looking for a daddy? Is that what you're saying, Gay Aaron Schock™?

Meanwhile, Gay Aaron Schock™ found the time to tell the Huffington Thing that "nothing gets me more excited than an organic honeycrisp apple."

Oh yeah? Where?

UPDATE: And just like all my hairdresser friends and me, Gay Aaron Schock™ loves thrift stores:



 

Images via shock.house.gov

3 comments:

Fran said...

Organic honeycrisp? Is that the new euphemism?

Michael Strickland said...

Best use of a trademark symbol in some time.

samael7 said...

At this point, I'm just wondering if he's going to be forced out in some embarrasing, possibly-police-or-coroner-involved way, or if he's going to manage to get to a comfortable old age where he can just go, "Duh, yeah, I was totally lying because blah blah blah."

(I mean, you know, "out" in an actual public way, not in a "Yes, twinkletoes, thou dost protest too much" out way.)