Why do reporters keep asking Gay Aaron Schock™, who is officially not gay, these gay, gay, gay questions? Now it's Politico, and they want to know what Aaron thinks about Paul Ryan's body, because if any male Republican has a valid opinion on the fitness of a particular male body, it's Gay Aaron Schock™, am I right?
"But you know he's ten years older than me so ah, but he's in great shape," Schock stammered, adorably, all the while desperately attempting to appear heavy in his loafers. So ah... So ah... So ah... he's not your type? Not looking for a daddy? Is that what you're saying, Gay Aaron Schock™?
Meanwhile, Gay Aaron Schock™ found the time to tell the Huffington Thing that "nothing gets me more excited than an organic honeycrisp apple."
Oh yeah? Where?
UPDATE: And just like all my hairdresser friends and me, Gay Aaron Schock™ loves thrift stores:
Images via shock.house.gov