Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Fashion Victim: Pattern/Color Clashing, Italian Style. Plus: Bonus Fashion Warning For Men


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The cotton shirt is by Missoni and the silk tie is vintage Fendi. Fancy! Pattern mixing is tricky, because there's such a fine line between doing it wrong and looking like Ugly Betty on a bad day and doing it right and... well, looking like Ugly Betty on a good day. This is the difference between being a fashion victim and making fashion your victim, which is my approach. Don't call it brave, though, because putting on a clashing shirt and tie hardly counts as an act of courage (we've been over this concept before). It's fun! Try it! I guess I'm lucky in that my coworkers have come to expect peculiar clothing choices from me, and even express disappointment when I dress somewhat "normally." That's the trick: build up their resistance over a period of time, and then almost anything goes.

But do you want to know what's upsetting me lately? I went shopping this past weekend and was appalled –appalled!– by the totally uncalled-for return of epaulets on men's shirts. Who ordered this nasty early-80s revival? I made a point to express my disapproval everywhere I saw them, which was everywhere.  Also dismaying was the attendant trend of the long-sleeved shirt with those epaulet-like thingees halfway up the sleeves so that you can roll them up and secure them with a button. No, no, no! Do not want! I shunned those things in 1982 and I'm shunning them now. Won't you join me?

Michael Kors, how could you?

14 comments:

Fran said...

That is so effing wrong at every level. The epaulets.

The pattern mixing? Di-effing-vine my love.

Christopher said...

I may get permanently banned but I love epaulets! I've been wearing them for at least the decade. This is a new trend? I think the first I bought was an Andrew Christian used at Crossroads in Oakland, CA. In probably 2000. And then have bought several more since of various types from H&M and others. I love it! (Seriously I bet have a 5 or 6 of them.)

Peteykins said...

Well, no, of course you won't get banned. All I want to know is why you like them? What do they add? What do they do? Why are they there?

HRH King Friday XIII, Ret. said...

Couldn't agree more, Princess! If I wanted to wear those epaulets uniform shirt things, I'd go work for the TSA. They are the popped-collars of 2011.

Partick said...

Sooooo jealous of that tie. I too had noticed that epaulets had shown up on the showroom floor as of late and decided that it was time to stock up on non-fancified shirts until the merchandising public came back to their senses. I have only barely made it through the "french-placket" (i.e. non-sewn version)phase, and now this!

samael7 said...

I don't hate them, in moderation, preferably on jackets from military surplus stores (if you're going to go "there," after all). On regular shirts? I . . . don't see the point.

But as to what they "do?" Unless you're adding braiding, nothing I suppose. May as well ask what that hidden third button is for on suit jackets.

(THAT bit of frippery baffles/borderline-annoys me. Actually, since you have sartorial super-smarts, Peteykins, do you know why they keep it around on some jackets? It seems for no other reason than being a slave to tradition.)

But I'm 100% with you on the mini-pocket-on-the-pocket. I'm not sure what I'd use that for. Vials of snuff or smelling salts? Lucky pebbles? Loose teeth?

Jim said...

Epaulets showed up at Express two years ago, so the revival must have started sometime before then. It's just now that you're seeing them EVERYWHERE, which means… it's time to move on.

I like the detail they add to a broad shoulder; they don't look good on everyone, but on some they do. Unfortunately, my shoulders outgrew the one shirt I had with epaulets, and I just don't think I'll be replacing it now.

The other trend I noticed is the French/Russian sailor tops showing up everywhere, and the gross missapplication of plaid on long shorts/clamdiggers for men. Just stop.

Anonymous said...

When you used the word "attendant" I thought for a sec you were talking about flight attendants, because they're the only people I know who wear epaulets.

But oh, PSP, truly you are not a middle-aged woman. (Well, actually, I know you aren't.) Those shirts with the roll-up sleeves that you can button on high are VERY forgiving to flabby female upper arms. While still being comfy on warm summer days. Alas, would that we all had Michelle Obama's personal trainer...

Peteykins said...

Samael, the "hidden button" is a mystery indeed. I love proper three-button coats, though (double vents in the back, please!), and usually will button the top two. I have one great camel hair coat by Billy Reid which can go either way.

Anonymous said...

I always thought it was simply a spare button in case you lost a critical one.

Bartman said...

Buyers of these shirts could wear some kind of flair on the epaulets, such as flag pins of favorite countries, etc.

Could the mini-pockets be in-your-face condom holders?

Comrade PhysioProf said...

[T]he gross missapplication of plaid on long shorts/clamdiggers for men.

Wait! Wut???

Frank Zweegers said...

Interesting choice!

Anonymous said...

Word nerd alert about a pet peeve:
An "epaulette" is a little flat board sitting atop the shoulder with fringes hanging down around the arm--a "little wing," literally. The thing shown in the pictures with this post is properly called a "shoulder strap."