NY Times Introduces Exciting "Bono Tracker"

Don't you hate it when you wake up in a mad panic, sitting bolt-upright, soaked with sweat and realizing that you have no idea where Bono is? Of course you do. I do, too. We all do. What a terrible feeling!

Well, at first I thought that the NY Times had solved this awful, soul-crushing condition with their hi-tech "Bono's Whereabouts" feature. How do they do it? Did they implant an RFD tag or something? Thank goodness, I thought to myself, that I'll never have to wonder about the location of the Irish pop singer/world savior ever again. There he is! Right in the middle of the Outback! The Dingos are safe!

But then I realized that it was probably just a one-shot thing tied to yet another article about the trials and tribulations of the superimportant Spider-Man musical.

Oh New York Times, you can be so cruel.