Monday, December 13, 2010

Book Shelf: Rambo Paint With Water, 1985

Click each for bigger!

This terribly illustrated "paint with saliva-coated Q-tips" booklet was published in 1985 by Modern Publishing, a hacky outfit which still exists and still churns out hastily-produced, cynically licensed, shoddy dreck... you know, for kids! On the one hand, these Rambo drawings are just hopeless, but on the other, they suggest imaginary plots which could have made the Rambo movies quite a bit more interesting (Rambo discovers a hidden valley of dinosaurs!). Enjoy:

Oh, no, Rambo's shirt got burned off:

So manly:

Note that the same head drawing as the above is used here:

Rambo, in headband and poncho, confronts Sarah Palin:

This is what I mean about the plot for a much, much better Rambo movie:

Rambo finally finds love. THE END:

And finally, an ad for a magnificent selection of ultra-realistic toy weapons recommended for ages 3 and up:


sfmike said...

Uh, did you paint-with-water all those yourself? They are seriously fabulous.

I've still not recovered from "Rambo 3," set in Afghanistan, where everyone in the cast is dressed in layers of Mideastern robes except for Ms. Stallone, who runs around shirtless with his signature red disco headband through the whole film. But you're right, I want to see Rambo with The Giant Ape and/or the New Boyfriend in an alternate universe.

Maddiane said...

Poor Rambo. His nipples were obviously burned off in that fire. :(

Lulu Maude said...

Measles or pixels?

Peteykins said...

Don't you guys know the "paint with water" genre? All the color you see here, including the measles, is water-soluble pigment you're supposed to smear around with water on a cotton swab.

sfmike said...

The "paint with water" genre was completely unknown to me until this post. As usual, I've learned something altogether new about the weird world around us at Princess Sparkle Pony's Photoblog.

Maddiane said...

Most famous example of paint-with-water I can think of is the inner sleeve of LZ's In Through The Out Door.

Christopher said...

OMG yes. I LOVED the paint with water genre as a kid. Many a car trip were spent with these modern publishing books.

samael7 said...

Ah, paint with water, last recourse of the harried mother who really did not want to lay down tons of newspaper and clean up acrylic or watercolor smears off of her children/the tables/the walls/the dog.

I'm amused not only by Rambo's lack of nipples, but the 1950's style of refusing to show a navel. I'm not a huge navel fan or anything, but the "hike up the trousers past the navel line" thing makes for an interesting, ah, silhouette.