Thursday, January 14, 2010

OMG, Sarah Palin Is Just Totally Blowing My Mind

I said I wasn't going to do this! I said I was sick of politics! I griped that my opinion of Sarah Palin is the same as everybody else's, so why do you care what my "take" on her is?

But... for reals, wow. I just really have to express myself here. Her appearance on Glenn Beck! And the background stories around it are simply unbelievable: Sarah, afraid Glenn Beck will try to "gotcha" her with some superhard questions, is seen frantically Googling for Statue of Liberty factoids so as not to get caught unprepared. This is so insane. So, so crazy! OK, first of all, Sarah was nervous about Glenn Beck, totally not getting it that she couldn't possibly be in friendlier, more sycophantic company. This reveals a level of comprehension regarding her place in the world somewhere in the neighborhood of the intelligence level of a marmoset. Second: she thought that he'd quiz her about the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island because they're visible from his studio, and that's what sent her off on her spastic Google binge.  On what primitive level does her brain operate? Maybe he'll ask me questions about the Statue of Liberty! I'll show him! What what what?

And then... after all that! It takes a surrealistic turn when, even though we've established that Beck is absolutely the safest, the friendliest, the paid-to-make-her-look-good-iest interviewer possible in the whole entire world... he still manages to catch her off guard and make her look like an idiot. Who is your favorite founding father? This is a question a state congressman asks a nine-year-old while visiting a fourth grade social studies class. And yet this question totally blew her mind! And her response was so feeble! Cretinous! All of them. All of them, Glenn. OK, George Washington. Holy smoke. She makes Michael Steele sound like Einstein.

This is really fascinating to witness. I honestly didn't think she could reveal herself to be any dumber, any weirder... and yet she rises to the challenge again and again! It's astounding!

I'm really looking forward to the flowering of Palin's new career at Fox. This is going to be wild.


Anonymous said...

I would fear the backlash from the marmoset lovers .

Shriekamina Erpson said...

No one can stop the Pony. Not even you, my dear.

Fran said...

I'm just wondering what would have happened if Beck's offices faced a theatre showing The Vagina Monologues or something.

Lulu Maude said...

She's afraid she'll have to face Glenn Beck in the primaries.

g said...

I dunno, I'd have thought if she, a potential Presidential candidate, were being interviewed even by a friendly pundit, she'd maybe bone up on economic policy, the health care bill, the war in Afghanistan, or even the underpants bomber. But she's worried he's going to stump her on the meaning of the statue of libery's crown?

And what says more about BOTH their priorities that neither of them even mentioned the Haiti earthquake?

Matty Boy said...

Okay, I don't have a favorite founding father. I don't have a favorite movie or song or color and I have no idea what kind of tree I would be.

I recently watched The Adams Chronicles, and I'm pretty sure John Adams isn't in the running for my favorite.

When he called her on it being a "bullcrap" answer, I would have told him it was a bullcrap question. Not everybody thinks like that.

Though I will admit that I have a favorite mathematician, Leonhard Euler.

Lulu Maude said...

It's funny--he's assuming she has some feeling for history. NOT! Beck does, 'cause he misses the good old days when a blondie like him could have slaves n' stuff.

Lulu Maude said...

p.s. I like Ben Franklin and all that ambivalence about venery in his autobiography. Heaps of fun, and D.H. Lawrence's attack on him in Studies in Classic American Literature was worth the price of founding father admission alone.

Anonymous said...

What we need around here is someone who can watch Sarah Palin's hairdo for us so we don't have to.

Karen Zipdrive said...

More of Palin's faves:

U.S. governmental agency: the military
Pie: apple
Song: America the Beautiful
Hero: Jesus Christ
Symbol: The American flag
Cheese: American
Car: American
Vacation destination: America
Food: American moose

Honestly, Koko the gorilla could have signed her predictable replies to any of these hardball questions.
Her innate stupidity is the only thing that saves her from being the most boring human being ever born.