George Will Puts Down Brandy Snifter, Pens Stern Condemnation of Populist Cotton Weave

Photo: random tourist desecrates Fred Astaire's memory.

Like Phil the groundhog on a decades-long cycle, George Will popped his head out of his hole, looked around, and noticed that all these people –young and old alike!– were wearing some kind of inelegant blue cotton fabric. He asked around and found that it was called "Denim." And then he decided to do something about it. So he wrote a column. About the blue jeans. And then we all took a hard look at ourselves. Ha, ha, just kidding about that last part.

It is astounding that this column was written in 2009 and not, say, 1959. Even in 1969 Will's diatribe would have sounded embarrassing and dated.*

But anyway, all the denim: it's really only appropriate for children and laborers, so stop wearing it, because it is a blight upon our land.

His prescription:

This is not complicated. For men, sartorial good taste can be reduced to one rule: If Fred Astaire would not have worn it, don't wear it. For women, substitute Grace Kelly.

Really? George?

Hey, you're not going to get me to disagree that most people dress like slobs, but there's something... something about this column that says something about conservatives and elitism, but I just can't put my finger on it.

So anyway, if you notice a lot more people than usual in top hats and white ties today, you'll know that George Will has Made a Difference™.

*My theory: the column actually was written in 1969 and rejected by Will's then editor. On deadline and unwilling to write about teabagging, he simply brushed it off, updated the cultural references ("Ed Norton" became "Jerry Seinfeld," "Skeeball" became "video games," etc.), and was good to go.

EDIT: I decided that today is Levi's 'n' bow tie day in honor of George Will.