OK, so we all heard yesterday that Michael Steele hired this guy, this Todd Herman, to be his "New Media" guru. This is the guy the RNC is pinning all of its hopes on for new and exciting web thingies and magical internet starbursts.
The press release from the RNC was pretty blatant about this guy being a CHRISTIAN, and that seemed like a transparent appeal to the right wingers who Steele makes nervous. Oh, but Mr. Herman is more than just a garden variety Christian! He's, like, totally, hilariously wingnutty! Yay!
Did you know, for instance, that Mr. Herman has a blog? Haw, that was a trick question; he doesn't, really. What he has is a hilariously lame fake wordpress blog he obviously whipped up to "introduce himself" to his new friends. It only contains two posts: one "about me" which is basically a paranoid rant about Nancy Pelosi and other demon Democrats, the other a post about why he's taking the job, namely to fight Satanic Nancy Pelosi and the unfairly persuasive Obama. Take a look at it and remind yourself, "This is the guy who will bring the GOP to total web dominance." Let me put it another way: this is the banner created by the man who will be the Republican Party's New Media Director. Sophisticated! Herman's web skills are obviously so advanced that I'm having a hard time identifying their brilliance, as dazzling and innovative as they are.
Herman's blog appears to have been created last week. Maybe it was part of the interview process! Its sole purpose seems obvious, to display the author's ideological purity. And, indeed, it is impeccable, with links to Pajamas Media, National Review, Newt Gingrich, Ronald Reagan, Powerline, Glen Beck, Opinion Journal, etc., etc. The "Leap of Faith" post is especially hilarious, containing every GOP trope and buzzword currently in circulation. One does not get the feeling that Mr. Herman has processed these concepts very well. This is my favorite part:
Like many conservatives, I considered “going John Galt”; instead*, I am headed to Washington D.C. [...]
Haw, Ayn Rand reference achieved! Well done! See, he would have "Gone Galt™," but instead, he didn't. Good choice. Imitating fictional characters is too hard; just ask all those people at Star Trek conventions. Those costumes are binding!
But anyway, read his fake blog and laugh, laugh, laugh. I am SO looking forward to seeing Mr. Herman's innovative web solutions. May I suggest blinking, scrolling text? Ooh, and animated gifs, please! Also, psssst: Cornify!
*"I considered going John Galt." Translation: I was having a hard time getting a job. Read this to understand how hilarious all these Republicans threatening to "go Galt" are.
21 comments:
Hoo-HAH! You really had me going there, PSP! How cunning of you to post this satirical spoof blog of Todd Herman's for our belly laughs and brushes with incontinence! (snort!) As if this is what the RNC's New Media Czar would actually produce!
...Right?
Don't forget that the thought-leading new GOP media director has included helpful links to "technology coolisms" on his spiffy blog.
He's even introduced cutting-edge concepts like "corwd-sourced."
PSP -- Thanks for the post and link. And really I tried, but couldn't get through the "About Me" section. It was so poorly written, I have red sharpie marks all over my screen — and now I can barely see to get my actual work done.
My favs:
"Constiutution-loving-media-brat..."
Was he thinking maybe "Constitution"-loving?
And... an 80’s hairband?
I think that I had a black and white polka-dot 80's hairband that I paired with chunky black beads.
Perhaps he was going for '80s hair band?
I hope he isn't the proofer for the pages before they're posted live.
The man is a serious hyphen abuser:
odd-duck
media-brat
political-operative
Constitutional-geek
Obermanfied-train-wreck
avarice-filled-power-mongers
Going Galt™! I have to write a post about this crap on my blog. The Neo-Randians have completely misread the book's intentions, but that isn't hard. How anyone gets through twelve pages of Ayn Rand at one sitting without falling into a deep and ponderous sleep is beyond me!
And the book isn't twelve pages long. The paperback is 1,069 pages before you get to "About the Author." [About the Author condensed: she's a boring old Russian tart who can't write an English sentence anyone would want to read.]
The whole "going Galt" thing is really funny. It doesn't work unless your skill would be missed, and last time I checked, "bloviating on the internet" isn't a skill which is in terribly short supply.
I left him a comment but since he has comment moderation on his blog I doubt it will ever see the light of day.
And he thinks Pelosi, Reid, and Obama have a "Neitzchian belief." Sweet Jesus, doesn't an ex-Microsoft wizard have access to a spell-checker? The complete irrelevance of Nietzsche to whatever he thinks he's talking about is of course another problem altogether.
I'm saved! I'm Cornified! How did I LIVE without Cornification!?!! What a happy Rainbow I now live under! Holy multicolored crap! wow! that other stuff is funny as hell but processing it will have to wait...
I was going to write a little comment about my utter, desperate wish for these people to "go Galt," as they think it means.
But then I looked at the Cornification site.
And my brain melted as if I'd just done a 1500 microgram hit of laboratory-grade windowpane.
Ha ha.
He can't even get the expression right!
Wow, these grown-ups are se-nile.
"Gosh, we haven't even found a cure for the common cold!"
"Our Founders...members of an all too small group...revolutionaries who were not themselves avarice-filled-power-mongers bent on total domination of their brothers & sisters*..."
*unless have a little too much melanin in their skin
Banner Cornified!
My sugar levels are too high now, must go rest.
This has got to be the stupidist political blog I have ever seen. Is this really the only thing they could come up with? Oh, and I loved the pictures of the token not-man and not-white people in the crappy banner. Cornify away!
aka sleepyinsaudi
Jeff Gannon's blog had better production values than this bland mess. I guess animated smiley faces will be making their debut soon. And maybe even photos!
Hey check it out.
Under his "Leap of Faith" post, the first commenter's photo is the same as Todd Herman's.
Whoopsie.
in a word, pathetic
What fun Michael S. is providing for us. It remains his Very Special Month.
And getting Cornified... oh, Pony. You continue to amaze me.
not only does he overuse hyphens, he abuses commas too.
today's headline: "Don’t You Love Blunt, U.K. Politicians?"
Why on earth does he mistake all Nouns That Describe Himself for proper nouns? He was a "Talk Show Host," now he's a "Father" and "Husband." Yet why does the fun stop at "odd-duck" and "media-brat"? Perhaps only one abuse is permitted at a time?
Also, isn't it odd that the Victorian White Lady (who is she, anyway?) is snuggled in between Frederick Douglass and MLK? Who is bizarrely pictured behind a white cross (is that anything like an 8-ball?).
And what media savvy person is going to play piggyback on the milk, sweat and tears of someone else's ad campaign dating back to the Clinton administration? I think they need to check for an expiration date.
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