Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Let's Laugh and Point at Clay Aiken Fans as They Grapple with the Obvious

OMGLOL, have you heard about Clay Aiken being a hairdresser? Were you just SHOCKED? No? Um, me neither. Some of his scary, hardcore fans, the ones who attacked, like vicious yet dowdy pitbulls, anybody who suggested he may be slightly less than heterosexual, are having a hard time accepting this betrayal. Here are some funny comments from "Claymate" fan boards to entertain you this morning:

  • This is a gut wrenching day for The ClayNation. Somebody wake me up, I hope its a dream.
  • I still love to hear him sing but I also feel he has now become like a Michael Jackson and it's a bit too weird!
  • I feel numb I'm so upset. This can't be real!! How can you guys say this won't change anything? This changes EVERYTHING. I don't even know what to think right now.
  • Well I don't feel like he lied to us. To my knowledge, he never came out directly and said I'm not gay.
  • I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach yet again.
  • This is hurting terribly right now.
  • I have defended Clay for years against these accusations. What do I say now?
  • i must admit I too am a bit sadden by this.

Ha ha! Oh, there's so much more (you'll have to find it yourselves, though).

UPDATE: Both Gawker and Radar had the same (admittedly obvious) idea.


karenzipdrive said...

All in all, I'd still rather do newly gay Lindsey Lohan.

FranIAm said...

Clay is gay go away and do not say!

Hahahahahahaah- like there was ever a question.

Like there was ever a reason to care.

You know that thanks to you my darling Princess, I cannot walk down the street without thinking Code Hairdresser when I see some folks.

And I say that with love, some of my best friends are hairdressers.

Matty Boy said...

But it's impossible. He's a baby daddy! That happened just last month!

You people and your awful rumor mongering, you made Clay spread the awful rumor himself!

Though I must admit, I had my suspicions when the baby mama's first name was Jaymes. I mean, couldn't he have spread his seed with someone with a more girly name, like Bristol or Piper?

DuPree said...

Thank you for making me not the only one who was cruising Claymate boards last evening, martini in hand, laughing maniacally at these insane people. I mean, I know I'm going to Hell already. I'm glad you'll be there with me.

HRH King Friday XIII said...

At least midwestern housevies will always have stud muffin Richard Simmons to come home to.

dguzman said...

"I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach yet again.

Um--when were the other times you were kicked in the stomach, crazy Claymate? When you found out there was no Santa Claus? No Tooth Fairy?

Dennis said...

Karenzipdrive, as a gay homosexual male, I tend to agree.

To give everyone some idea of the level of denial the Claymates live in, I present to you the scariest cubicle ever.

Lulu Maude said...

I'm real sadden, to.

rptrcub said...

I'm happy that he's out of the closet, but to the obsessive Claymates: BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! ALL YOUR PRECIOUS DREAMS ARE SHATTERED! Now go back to thinking Sarah Palin is great or whatever you middle-America mouthbreathers do.

samael7 said...

Who knew he had the stones. Good for him.

To the shocked and disappointed Claymates: I'm sorry?

samael7 said...

And to rptrcub: Well, as long as disillusionment is the dish du jour, they may as well know the truth, since they're old enough:

There is no Santa Claus.
There is no Easter Bunny.
There is no Tooth fairy.
Sarah Palin isn't qualified, and she's kind of a liar.

There, there. Let it all out, folks.

jterry said...

To think, back when I lived in North Carolina and he was still doing his American Idol thing, I could've just driven over and gotten me some oddly coiffured tail.

Except, ya know, I have my dignity.

Jess Wundrun said...

Did these gals think Clay was coming over to the trailer for a boink and now it won't happen? 'Cuz I do not think Sue Ellen Pabstcan Wall-Martin was in his blackberry to begin with.