Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Cindy McCain Unfamiliar with Ground Transport

Republican presidential candidate, Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., right, gives a thumbs up to the crowd next to his wife Cindy McCain, left, before his speech at the National Council of La Raza annual convention in San Diego, Calif., Monday, July 14, 2008. (AP Photo/Denis Poroy)

You may have noticed that I've avoided picking the low-hanging fruit which represents the candidates for the important office of First Lady of the United States. People have asked me to make fun of Michelle Obama and I've declined. People have literally begged me to "take on" Cindy McCain, and finally, she said something so ridiculous, so moronic, and so... filthy rich, that I finally succumbed.

Ms. McCain, in an interview with CNN highlighted by the Huffington Thing, recently claimed that "In Arizona the only way to get around the state is by small private plane."

I grew up in Arizona, and a lot of you may not know this, but I'm here to tell you that the Grand Canyon State actually features an impressive array of publicly maintained streets, roads, lanes, avenues, and even highways! When my family tooled around the state to experience its many wonders, we piled not into a small private aircraft but, believe it or not, a fake-wood-paneled Plymouth station wagon! Furthermore, I can reveal that Arizonans make their way from place to place on wheels (two or four) all the time! Daily, even!

I just thought I'd clear that up.


Madduane said...

One of my favorite drives in the world is I-17 downhill from Flagstaff into Phoenix. Actually, there's a lot of beautiful, scenic drives in Arizona. F that beer wench, she's ignorant.

jterry said...

Is it just me, or does the esteemed Senator from Arizona look a touch robotic?

And doesn't Cindy look a whole lot like this fine, upstanding individual? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/index.html?curid=3422703

Karen Zipdrive said...

They truncated her quote. Here's the complete quote:
"In Arizona, the only way to get around the state when you're high and holding a purse filled with illegal Vicodin and don't want to get busted for erratic driving is by small private plane."

sfmike said...

If I remember correctly, there was a famous magazine in the 1950s-1970s called "Arizona Highways," documenting your family trips I am sure.

I do commend you on your restraint in bashing low-hanging fruit, but I'm also glad that you changed your mind. This couple is straight out of "Macbeth," with a bleached-blonde Lady and an ancient actor as the would-be King of Scotland.

drew in sf said...

I don't know Princess. I've been told one must trade in your jet pack for a pterodactyl at the border. Unless one comes into AZ at the Utah border, in which case one's magic underpants merely lose their levitating properties.

dguzman said...

I don't suppose the reporter bothered to say something like, oh I don't know--"lady, are on you crack?"

I'm imagining the wee PSP, looking out the car windows and soaking up the pop culture and the prickly pears, dreaming of the day when she could wave her sparkly combable tail and all would look upon her in awe.

And Zipdrive gets the ZING of the day with that comment.

Terry said...

Cindy and John McCain look a lot a like don't they? Disturbingly so, actually.

zoe said...

You can dress Bakersfield-trailer-trash in Escada, but they remain trailer trash. With her resouces, it is incomprehensible she would/could be allowed in public looking as she does.

Kiko said...

They still distributing Budweiser in AZ? Go tell this to a trucker, eh?

HRH King Friday XIII said...

Princess! I'm grew up in Arizona too! Born and raised.

samael7 said...

Let's see, Gramm's "whiners" comment, La Cindy's "private plane" preferences . . . what will be the third part of the "Yes, the Republican party really is for I-got-mine-rich-white people" trifecta?

Short of Marie Antoinette coming back from the dead and declaring herself a Republican, I'm not sure what's going to top it, but I look forward to finding out.

(Unless we already got the trifecta with Mitt Romney's "$200K = Middle Class" reference?)

Matty Boy said...

Leaving the wife alone for a while, McCain has got to stop that thumbs up thing. I know that's as far up as he can reach, but it makes him look spastic.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Thanks for that.

karenzipdrive said...

Yeah, he's got to also avoid looking to the side too much because he has lazy eye or some malady that makes him look like Marty Feldman.

magase said...

Am I the only one who appreciates this man's great mime skills?
He is piloting an invisible small private plane, can't you see?

> Hint.

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

Ha, ha! Right! I knew there was a reason I chose that picture to illustrate that story.

Brian said...

Fuck Obama! He's a goddamned elitist!

Madduane said...

you tell 'em, bri. Had that beer with incurious George yet?

whatdafuq said...

And John McCain became irate and
attacked people who made light of
his wife's remarks as "out of line"
and "unacceptable" and part of a
"well organized campaign of sleeze"
by his opponent's party.

Wait, no. That's the *other* guy
running for president whose wife
cannot be criticized no matter what
insane nonsense she spouts.