Friday, March 07, 2008

Geologists Once Again Fooled by Satan


(NY Times)

Oh, I'm sure lots of smug, bedeviled secularists will be reading all about the Grand Canyon this morning, nodding their heads in fascination as they "learn" that it's 11 million years older than previously thought.

This is obviously a thinly-veiled attack on Christians by the mainstream media... again. Where's the balance? Most Americans know the Earth is less than 10,000-years-old, but the liberal, anti-Jesus press again ignores their voices. The Grand Canyon was formed by Noah's flood, duh!

Clearly these unholy geologists were directed to those caves to find their "evidence" by Satan himself. When will they learn? When they're burning in the Lake o' Fire, that's when! TSK.

14 comments:

pissed off patricia said...

Hey, I think I see the face of the virgin Mary in there. Can I sell the Grand Canyon on E-bay?

Matty Boy said...

I was five years old when some Christian told me Satan made dinosaurs. I was five and loved dinosaurs, so loving Jesus was going to be a problem for me.

And you see the result.

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

I can relate! My love of dinosaurs was the first and most important contributer to my atheism.

No Marsupial Equivalent said...

People wail and people moan
Look for a dry place to call their home
Try to find some place to rest their bones
While the angels and the devils fight to claim them for their own...

karenzipdrive said...

I'm not sure the Grand Canyon is that old. I recall my parents taking me there when I was a little kid, and it still had that new canyon smell.

liquiddaddy said...

I see a shadowy figure super-imposed in the upper left hand corner that looks like a giant Mrs. Butterworth. Is this Satan?

drew in sf said...

You know this is all very interesting speculation, but given that - according to Bishop Ussher's chronology the world ended in 1996 - it's also all quite irrelevant.

Lulu Maude said...

Are you a blood relation of Sister Nancy?

TeleFrank said...

I'm pretty sure it was formed by His Noodly Appendage

Anonymous said...

I wonder how this new information is reconciled with the creationist material that is sold by the US Parks Department (sad, but true). I guess they won’t be selling copies of the Times in the ranger stations.
BrooklynRed

Anonymous said...

My love of dinosaurs was the first and most important contributer to my atheism.

My love of dinosaurs was important in the formation of my belief that Catholic and evangelical literalists are horribly unimaginative people. My god thinks they are a bunch of dumbasses.

Satan said...

A friend asked that I comment on this post.

For the record, I didn't direct any of the scientists involved to do anything.

Even if I wanted to I couldn't. Scientists are by nature and training skeptics. They don't accept what they're told; instead they look for evidence and test established beliefs. They really don't take well to direction from supernatural beings. They can be quite a pain in the ass, actually.

I do, of course, strongly support the overall process of exploring different possibilities and not simplying doing or believing what one is told.

-- Satan

FranIAm said...

Wow, I ask and Satan complies.

I am off to say another rosary after checking back on this one.

Elliot Lake said...

My father once directed work at a Uranium mine in the fringes of the canyon; one day the men found mastodon bones, and wanted to take them home---until he reminded them they were radioactive and couldn't be safe to have at home.

There is, by the way, no better tour guide to the Grand Canyon than a geologist--all those lovely layers of color and time, and someone who can point out when different features were made. Dad's a devout Episcopalian, but that doesn't get in the way of him understanding science.