The Entertainer

UPDATED with new image, because I just couldn't resist.

I have a theory: Huckabee is paying Keyes to "campaign" so that he seems less crazy in comparison. And indeed, Alan Keyes was hilarious in last nights battle of the stars. The New Republic called his appearance ludicrous, but I call it delicious! Best of all is the National Review's encounter:

I jumped in again. “Ambassador, I’m going to ask you one more time. Have you personally been doing campaign events here in Iowa in the last few months?”

“I have had several campaign events here in Iowa, but I will not define those events as you do,” he said.

“In the last few months?”

“I don’t define those events as you do. And I don’t think you have any right whatsoever to establish yourselves as the arbiter of what constitutes an event. I will do that in a way that reflects the best needs and purposes of the people who are working with me. Because as I see it, every time somebody comes forward and takes the pledge, that’s an Iowa event.”

I love you, Alan Keyes! Please don't ever change.

More! Here's the New York Post, which described the debate as a train wreck:

The big embarrassment was ex-Ambassador Alan Keyes, who hasn't been at any other debate - and looked at many points like he'd have to be removed from the stage by security.

And the Seattle Times (these are the conservative papers!):

Although Keyes' opponents mostly ignored him, he was on the attack from the start.

"These folks represent the very elite who, year after year after year, have destroyed our Constitution, betrayed our rights and undermined our strength created by our people in the world," he said.

And, OMG, even humanevents.com makes fun of him:

But it was the presence of Alan Keyes, without an organized campaign and with no level of support in Iowa, who provided the exclamation point on the afternoon. Having let him in to the debate, the Des Moines Register host then had to deal with him -- and his insistence on not being skipped in questioning and his longwinded, irrelevant speechifying. By comparison, Ron Paul was the model of decorum and common sense.

John Dickerson at Slate calls Keyes a "self-obsessed, bullying, petty, scold," and seems to give credence to my thesis that Keyes is a ringer for Huckabee:

To the extent that Keyes was a beneficial force, the benefit went to Mike Huckabee who is running as a second generation social conservative candidate.