Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Locals Only: Official Sparkle Pony DC Mayoral Endorsement

Click for bigger! All blogs have my permission to use the above image.

I took the above shot several weeks ago at the Newseum construction site on Pennsylvania, and I've been pondering its possible meanings ever since. I felt the sign with its sticker leftover from Pride '06 was trying to tell me something. Was it saying that Cropp's many gay supporters shouldn't cross the road (vote for Fenty, in other words), or was it saying that Cropp's gay supporters were unwelcome?

Believe it or not, I do take some things seriously, and I'm officially siding with the latter interpretation. I've crossed the road and I'm going with Fenty. Don't think for a minute that I don't have reservations, because Fenty is pretty much an unknown quantity, and I'm taking a leap of faith in the man. Don't let me down, Adrian! The glittery hooves can kick hard!

Let's review:

Vincent Orange: Like the naval on an actual, citrusy orange, Vincent closely resembles an asshole. Enough said.

Somebody Who I Can't Remember: The other male. Wait, what's his name? Um, sorry.

Marie Johns: She was a Verizon executive, so it seems clear that she'll be more of the same as the Williams administration: all big business and too bad for everybody else. Basically, she's a Linda Cropp clone with no track record. Also, she has greatly annoyed me with a relentless barrage of email spam and phone calls. She even called me personally early in her run. Marie, I'm sure you're a nice person, but I just don't think you've got what it takes to lead this city.

Linda Cropp: She doesn't believe in open government, wants to keep all city business closed to the public, and, like Marie Johns, she's all about big business, real estate and photo-ops at the expense of all else. She deserves a healthy share of the blame for the state of DC's public schools, a dubious distinction shared by none of the other candidates. People in my crowd like to point to her good record on kissing the gay community's ass, but you know what? They all have to do that. People outside DC may not understand that the gay voting bloc is second only to the African American bloc in this city, an urban dynamic unique to the District. They all have to kiss our asses and all of them have... except for Vincent Orange, and as already discussed, Orange is, in fact, an asshole. I'm not even going to discuss Cropp's exceptionally nasty anti-Fenty mud-slinging activities of recent weeks. Yes, I got all the mailers. Sorry, Linda, too much, too late, too desperate.

Adrian Fenty: His overriding quality is that he is none of the above. He has made real noise about DC's notorious "closed-shop" approach to government business. He got Berry's endorsement today!* He's more peculiar than people seem to be willing to talk about, and I'm liking him as a wild card. Seriously, there's something really weird about Fenty; it's the elephant in the room nobody's mentioning. Wheee!

*Oh, um, also the Washington Post.

Finally, thanks to the anonymous genius at the Pride celebration for his/her inspired statement shown at the top of this post. You really did help!

So there you have it, written all in a rush and totally where my head stands at the moment. Comments?


mle said...

what happened to the photo?

Jon said...

"Believe it or not, I do take some things seriously."
Princess, I thought you took most things seriously and used humor as a tool for organizing your response. You mean, there's stuff here that I'm not supposed to take seriously? The fact that you make me laugh a lot does not detract from the fact that you are about ten times smarter than most news bloggers.

PwapVt said...

How could you pretend to NOT take the gruesom twosome seriously?

Carmen Sutra said...

You know, the Orange/asshole comparison is not going to help you with the butthole searching crowd.

I'm an outsider, but it looks like you've made a good decision. When voting, weird is always better than corporate.

And also, what Jon said.

dusty said...

PSP...Cropp does sound like a fuckwit in the mold of our Decider-in-Chief..

Good luck to your candidate of choice..we trust your judgement implicitly.

seamus said...

What about Michael Brown? I saw his signs all over DC a couple weeks ago. I'm certain he'd do a heck of a job.

Anonymous said...

You know, PSP, I almost always agree with your equine judgment. But this time, you've got it all wrong. I know Adrian. Adrian is not smart. It takes a lot of ineptitude to get a judge of the Superior Court to call you "negligent, incompetent, or both." Adrian has a hard time putting a coherent sentence together, much like crazy eyes' husband. We don't need a leader who needs to read every public statement he makes. I'm sticking with Gertrude Stein and cha-cha heels Cropp.

copperred said...

Anyone who can't put their name to their opinion has less balls than a female weasel.

I think you've reached the same conclusion as me. I may not be as down on Ms. Johns (though being a Verizon exec is on par with working for IG Farben for lots of people), but I see business execs come and go from government and none making a difference. Fenty is scaring the establishment, and that can't be all bad. It would be nice to have openness in government, something Cropp fears more than Karl Rove himself.

Princess Sparkle Pony said...

Thanks, Carl. Also: Fenty could be disasterously bad, and that would be good for us political satirists!

Anonymous said...

Crop was at the infamous gay bar, the Green Lantern, Sunday evening sucking up to the bears there for votes.