Saturday, September 16, 2006

CNN Reports Miraculous Infant Powers

Oh, those dependable geniuses, the headline writers at! I didn't watch the video, but apparently some huge baby was born with the incredible power of being able to tailor clothing for infants born 3/4 of a year earlier. This is amazing! Most newborns can't even hold a pair of scissors, much less operate them. Somebody call Anna Wintour ASAP!

Please also note that Anna Nicole Smith's hiring of Elvis' pathologist outranks the latest news from Iraq. Of course it does! It's CNN!


Anonymous said...

That baby story isn't the only unbelievable headline there- the skeletal sex symbols, the dying teenage bride, and I don't want to know what the story behind" or residents will be shot" is. So much potential for ridicule.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... the National Enquirer headlines are listed below, CNN and NE must have the same editor...

•Britney Gives Birth: It's A Boy!

•Jessica Is Fighting Mad - At Her Dad!

•Former "Dallas" Star Arrested For DUI

•Mariska Hargitay's Dad Watches Her Win An Emmy, Falls Gravely Ill

•Britney Isn't The Cash Cow She Once Was

•Tom's Firing Threatens His Relationship With Katie

•Matthew Broderick Falls Off Horse, Breaks Collarbone

•Everything Isn't Rosie On The View

•Zach Asks Jessica For More Mandy

•Squeaky-Clean Kelly Gets Down And Dirty

•Katie Cracks Under Pressure

•Web Exclusive: War Hero Jessica Lynch Pregnant

•Nick Dumps Jessica - On eBay!

•Dr. McDreamy Turns Into Nightmare

•Star's New View On Finances: Pinching Pennies!

•Courteney Cox Marriage Crisis

Karen Zipdrive said...

That 14-pound infant should audition for "Pwoject Wunway."

The Reader said...

Princess -- are you ok? You haven't posted for a week. I miss you, yes, but am starting to get concerned. It's like a friend that I normally connect with isn't in let us know that you're ok.