Monday Audioblogging: Not the Usual Kind of Fairy Tales You Read About on the Pink Pony

Heidi Pocketbook Doll: Adventures in Fairyland, Majorette Records, ca. 1965
Click for bigger!

PLEASE NOTE: This record presents an example of an "orphaned copyright", a term used to denote, among other things, a work copyrighted by a company which no longer exists. This is one of the hottest issues in the thrilling world of intellectual property rights! Technically I am violating no less than three companies' interests in these recordings: Remco Toys, Majorette Records and Midnight Music Incorporated, but none of these companies exist today... so who's going to file the complaint?

But anyway, enough of the boring ass-covering, OK? This record is a great example of pure shillery; it exists only to promote the Heidi doll, all her friends, and especially her beautiful pink jeep, which isn't pictured on the front cover but is advertised on the back... and over and over on the record. Seriously, Heidi just cannot shut up about her goddamned jeep!

I love this record, though. It's weak even by the lowered standards held by children's entertainment at the time. Heidi sounds like a vapid starlet (it helps if you imagine it's Lindsey Lohan or one of her idiotic peers), and her fairyland friends come across as so moronic that even an eight-year-old would roll her eyes in judgement. My favorite part is when plucky Heidi, confronted by the Big Bad Wolf, threatens him with vehicular manslaughter. "I can see your Jeep is very powerful," intones the cretinous beast. "I'm afraid of that Jeep!"

Side One (13:28, 15.8mb)

Heidi links:
eBay Heidi auctions!
A Heidi Blog which will probably love that I posted this.
An info page about Heidi dolls.
The same Heidi album featured on David Letterman. Fun fact: Letterman credits Don Bolles for the record. In fact, Don first saw this record in my collection in San Diego and tried to buy it off me! Obviously he found his own copy later. We met a couple of times and really bonded over our shared enthusiasm for psychotic children's records.

EDIT: Wow, I just found Don Bolles' Myspace page, and we also seem to share a fondness for ridiculous girly pseudonyms containing the word "sparkle". Hi, Don!

UPDATE:

Scan of back cover. Click for bigger!