Condi: Sometimes Down Means Up, Up Means Down

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice answers questions from journalists during a news conference at Blackburn Town Hall in northern England April 1, 2006. Rice is visiting the UK for four days at the invitation of British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw, after he visited her home state of Alabama last year. REUTERS/Peter Byrne/PA/WPA Pool

We all knew Condi had some 'splainin' to do after her "thousands of mistakes" (Oh! I know: "One Thousand Points of Error"!) remark yesterday. I wasn't the only person to say, "Um, clarification please?", because that's exactly how the English press responded. Ever plucky and resourceful, our favorite hairdo scofflaw reached deep within herself and found her inner George Orwell:

"First of all, I meant it figuratively, not literally. Let me let me be very clear about that. I wasn't sitting around counting," she replied. "The point I was making to the questioner ... is that, of course, if you've ever made decisions, you've undoubtedly made mistakes.

"The important thing is to get the big strategic decisions right, and that I am confident that the decision to overthrow Saddam Hussein and give the Iraqi people an opportunity for peace and for democracy is the right decision."

OK, got that? Bring it on home, Dr. Princess:

"The other point I was making to the questioner is that I'm enough of a historian to know that things that looked brilliant at the moment turn out in historical perspective to be mistakes, and the things that look like mistakes turn out to have been right decisions."

Awesome, Condi! Not even light itself can pass through that clarification.

I think it was at about this point that Mr. Straw came to her rescue by gouging out his right eye to distract the reporters:

Now that is what friends are for. There aren't any pictures of what happened next, but presumably the gathered crowd scrambled around hilariously for the errant sight organ while our heroine quietly slipped out the side door.