Thursday, January 28, 2010

Book Shelf: Dukes Of Hazzard Coloring & Activity Book

This clumsily illustrated and cheaply produced Dukes of Hazzard tie-in was published in 1981 by the unlikely sounding "Modern Promotions, a division of Unisystems, Inc.," in fact a prolific producer of this kind of thing. This stuff is a poignant reminder of pre-Photoshop days, before untalented hacks gained the means to produce slick-looking pages. Here's the front cover and title page:

Click any for bigger and play along at home!

We're dropped in medias res as a retarded deputy discovers oil on the ground shortly after driving his car into a tree:

Connect the dots, la la la la! The plot thickens as the imbecilic law enforcers plot to steal the oil:

Play where's the oil in this challenging maze. Next, the young studs and their daddy bear discover the sheriff's none-too subtle plan:

The lithe boys jump into their horrible car to investigate:

The chase is on:

I had to look up Dukes of Hazzard to get the answer to four across because how the hell would I know who the brother of Luke Duke is:

The mad dash to the surveyor's office continues. Note, too an amusing misspelling:

At this point it becomes clear that the story makes no sense at all:

The tale concludes (?) in part two, tomorrowSaturday.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Truly dreadful.

HRH King Friday XIII, Ret. said...

Well, at least one can spend time coloring Bo Duke's sexy, bulging man-crotch.

Unknown said...

Bad azz- love it.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I cannot believe you didn't color in it.

samael7 said...

Ugh, my sister loved this show. I did not, but was forced to endure it on occasion. There wasn't ever actually a plot: just a protracted excuse to have the car jump over something, with the usual corollary that a police car . . . would fail to. I'm pleased to see the coloring book is in keeping with this tradition.

Sorrell Boke was wasted on this show.