Book Shelf: Dukes Of Hazzard Coloring & Activity Book

This clumsily illustrated and cheaply produced Dukes of Hazzard tie-in was published in 1981 by the unlikely sounding "Modern Promotions, a division of Unisystems, Inc.," in fact a prolific producer of this kind of thing. This stuff is a poignant reminder of pre-Photoshop days, before untalented hacks gained the means to produce slick-looking pages. Here's the front cover and title page:

Click any for bigger and play along at home!

We're dropped in medias res as a retarded deputy discovers oil on the ground shortly after driving his car into a tree:

Connect the dots, la la la la! The plot thickens as the imbecilic law enforcers plot to steal the oil:

Play where's the oil in this challenging maze. Next, the young studs and their daddy bear discover the sheriff's none-too subtle plan:

The lithe boys jump into their horrible car to investigate:

The chase is on:

I had to look up Dukes of Hazzard to get the answer to four across because how the hell would I know who the brother of Luke Duke is:

The mad dash to the surveyor's office continues. Note, too an amusing misspelling:

At this point it becomes clear that the story makes no sense at all:

The tale concludes (?) in part two, tomorrowSaturday.