Saturday, October 25, 2008

Yes, Yes, but What Does Hugo Chavez Think of Sarah Palin?

Our favorite jump-up-and-downer, Hugo Chavez, is always good for some comical insults, and he certainly doesn't disappoint on the Palin front:

"I saw the vice presidential candidate, there she was talking about 'the dictator Hugo Chavez.' The poor thing, you just feel sorry for her," he said during a televised broadcast.

"She's a beauty queen that they've pulled out to be a figurehead. We need to say as Christ did: Forgive her, she knows not what she's saying."

Ha ha! That's even better than when he called Condi "Missy."


Fran said...

Chavez out Christians the Christian!

John Brown said...

This dreadful and vulgar dictator is really a minor figure.

He would not exist were it not for the paranoid Bush obsession of US plans to 'get him."

So here he is ... One of our-such-a-bastard, ripping us off ... thanks to us.

Thank God I don't have a car. Don't need their oil. '

Anonymous said...

Except what is so comical about what he said? It's all true!

KELSO'S NUTS said...

@ JOHN BROWN: "...This dreadful and vulgar dictator is really a minor figure..."

Y tu, que sabes? No sabes ni la verga de Sudamerica. De la parte de un huevado gringo maleducado como tu, es "dictador vulgar que no significa nada." Bueno. De nuevo, papi, que sabes tu de Venezuela, de Chavez, del petroleo o que sea? Nada, cierto? Levantate de tu silla de ruedas y dime, pue'. Que fucking sabes de Venezuela? Paso, pue', pero hay que decirte que me caes muy mal.

President Chavez is another head of state of another wealthy first-world nation. He has his good points and bad. I'm neutral on him but I surely respect his financial acumen.

He has a few things going for him, though. His country has a great deal of oil and the most valuable currency in the world, the Bolivar Mr John Brown, I live 200 miles from Caracas and I see Venezuelans every day. They are great customers of my nightclub because they have tons of US Dollars to throw around. They wouldn't consider spending Bolivars because they make too much in real interest lending them within Venezuela.

Now, minor figure? That's a tough sell considering that Venezuela is the #3 power country in the Americas and will catch Canada pretty soon. Vulgar? That's a matter of taste. I think he's funny when he makes fun of gringos because I DESPISE GRINGOS. Not all gringos. I like Barack Obama. He's got a lot of class and a lot of calm, I think.

But let's get back to fact and fantasy about Chavez. Dictator? I don't think that flies. He's won three elections all verified by multinational observers. Your president has stolen at least one election and probably the other or if not, he got Kerry to dump it. When Chavez put forth a referendum on expansion of the executive, it was voted down and that was that.

But let's have a deeper look, shall we? Chavez had some desire to nationalize ONE BANK. He made an offer to the common stockholders of a 25% premium to market. This was rejected by the bank's board of directors and then by a proxy vote of the shareholders.

That's it. He abandoned that idea. Meanwhile, in your joke of a country, your "elegant rather than vulgar and very significant figure of a president, George W Bush, has proposed nationalizing CITI, CHASE, WELLS and B of A, the USA's four largest banks, and not in the normal capitalist way of buying out the shareholders, oh no, that would be too "communist" for Bush. His plan is SEIZURE.

Economics is an interesting subject vis-a-vis Hugo Chavez. You believe, old man, that he's a "communist," no? If that's so, he'd be the first COMMUNIST leader I've heard of to be a fiscal conservative and inflation ultra-conservative, such that he's willinng to pay 23% real interest to prevent the cost-push and demand-pull inflationary pressures in his booming economy. His budget is in extreme surplus despite his generous social programs and they are a net sovereign creditor.

Your NON-VULGAR, SIGNIFICANT, country owes $13 TN.

Well, it's all just because of oil and aren't you happy that you don't have a car? So, if it's all about oil, why did the Ford Motor Company of that hideous vulgar country 5000 miles to my North float a Bolivar-denominated GDR for a Venezuelan subsidiary dedicated to producing luxury automobiles which are 100% non-polluting and run on electricity, natural gas and/or sugar ethanol?

How does the existence of a large scale stock, bond, commoditity and derivatives market in Caracas square with the whole "dictator" thing, anyway?

Please don't believe me. Go to the pages of the Venezuelan Ministry Of Finance and the BCV. Go to Bloomberg to see the prices of everything on the markets there. Go to a non-ideological source like the Economist Intelligence Unit or the CIA World Fact Book to check the national income accounting to see about the surplus, the creditor status, the prevailing interest rates, the inflation hawkishness of the Chavez government and the value at Purchasing Power Parity of the Bolivar.

So, please tell me which country's median citizen is wealthier? El gringo o el venezolano?

Please go to Bloomberg and look at a chart of the DOLLAR/BOLIVAR CROSS.

The great thing about the blogosphere is that it allows nobodies who know nothing about a subject like you to spout off and nobodies like me who live in South America to set you straight.

Like we say buddy: Putos no faltan, lo que faltan son financistas.

By your ignorant words with regard to Venezuela and its president, I'm pretty sure you are 0%"financista" and 100% "puto".

Even if you had a car, you wouldn't even use that much of "his" oil. It's too heavy and sulphrous and therefore hard and expensive to refine for lead-free gasoline.

Venezuelan crude is mostly cracked in the US into home heating oil and jet fuel.

This is exactly what pisses the rest of the world off. The assumption that Americans know everything about everything, when they know very little about anything.

Civic Center said...

People may say whatever they want about Mr. Chavez, but his comedy bit at the U.N. was classic. After Bush had just left the podium, Hugo came on and sniffed the air, visibly detecting a hint of sulfur from Satan and then announced the fact to the rest of the world. In a good vs. evil contest with the Bush Administration, he's definitely on the side of the angels.

Peteykins said...

Oh, dear, like, the experts going at it!

Impressed to hear you don't have a car, Dr. Brown; neither do I.

And I agree that "Hugo Chavez" is a "monster" primarily of our own creation, only dimly related to Hugo Chavez himself.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

PRINCESS SPARKLE PONY: I'm not an expert on this but at least I've studied the subject in detail and I've been able to separate fact from fantasy. Chavez may call himself whatever he likes but the economy is run in a neo-Keynesian fiscal way and a Fisherite, neo-Classical monetary way.

And there's talent throughout the finance ministries and central banks of South America. In some ways, I like Afredo Carrasquilla Barrera, the MdF of Colombia, the best because he has a very tough job in keeping unemployment and inflation low plus the budget in balance despite all the violence and his inability to fully account for the underground economy in the national income accounts statements.

I think that Hugo Chavez was the right man at the right time but he needs to do more party building and less figuring out ways to maintain power. He could retire the greatest Venezuelan president ever, but with a party commitment to maintain his more left-wing interpretation of social democracy, plus his tough as nail economic polcies his PARTY should do well given all the growth.

Anonymous said...

I know little about Chavez but I've always had the impression he's smart, and we (US) acted like twits (to put things mildly) about him.

I wanted to know if that picture was just something fortuitously appropriate for the topic, or actually connected.

Oh, and to tell y'all to call all the UFO conspiracy theorists. Guess what was just released:

KELSO'S NUTS said...

PRINCESS SPARKLEPONY: I just took a look at Mr Brown's blogs and I understand what's going on here. It's kind of an Archie Bunker/Mike Stivic sort of thing. More precisely it's a cultural gap between a Patrician elderly WASP and a 47-YO Jewish Latino.

We see the world differently and what's considered "proper" behavior for a foreign service man of his age is an infuriating lack of respect for "the other" for a money-mover like me whose travels were business-based and whose family was poor.

I had a partner in an off-shore fund who's father was in the foreign service and that's how they view the world.

The idea that a poblano could be a head of state and have a little fun with it while running it in a basically conservative manner economically is not accessible to him.

I have an absolutely neutral view of Chavez. Some things I like. Some things I don't. But he's a head of state and meritorious of respect. I don't take the same generous view of Colin Powell and John McCain that he does. But the whole US military thing I guess makes them clean somehow despite what sadists and liars they are.

Hugo Chavez is a goofball but he's not a liar or a sadist.

I'll debate Chavez's economic policies with Mr Brown any day of the week and twice on Sunday, but I reserve my right to go batshit loco when I feel he's being racist or disrespectful of Latinos.

And I will play him Hollywood Gin, Cribbage, Honeymoon Bridge or Heads-Up any form of poker for any amount whenever. I'm sure I'm confirming all his prejudices about Jews and Latinos, but whatever. It's a brand new world. We don't turn the other cheek anymore.

Glennis said...

The air is getting a little heady in here! All I want to know is, what does Hugo Chavez think of Sarah's new wardrobe?

Peteykins said...

OK, you all realize that pretty much all I know about Hugo is that he called Condi "Missy," right?

Anonymous said...

I came here for a laugh and a political discussion broke out.
I think I'll check out Richard Cohen to see if he's still a funny guy.

Jess Wundrun said...

Princess, I don't ROFLMYBBQ too much while reading the intertubes but your last comment kills!

Karen Zipdrive said...

Jeeze, these loooong, dry commenters need their own blogs!
As for Chavez, for him to have the pop cultural sense to connect Palin with the Devil Wears Prada main character tells me he's sharper than McCain or Bush when it comes to sizing people up.
Also, I think if that fucking idiot Bush had been halfway decent to Chavez in the beginning, we'd be buying a hell of a lot of cheap Venezualan oil right now.

Anonymous said...

i, for one, enjoyed kelso's nuts's contribution as much as i enjoy everyone else's (i.e., very much). psp is my hero!

Peteykins said...

Karen, being mean to John Brown is not allowed, and he has his own blog, and it is excellent.

dguzman said...

I wonder if he would smell the odor of burning sulfur (or perhaps WalMart shoes) after Palin leaves the podium.

Anonymous said...

Oh my! At first I thought Anonymous was saying he enjoyed everyone's nuts as much as Kelso's!

samael7 said...

"It's funny, because it's true!" would seem to apply here to Chavez's dead-on observation.