Monday, June 16, 2008

Uh, Oh, It Turns Out I Work in a Den of Porn

Auguste Rodin: The Age of Bronze (detail), model 1875-1876, cast 1898, plaster. Click for bigger, uncensored. NSFW, I suppose.

The Washington Post's Reliable Source had a hilarious thing this morning about some idiot nutty Christian from Texas who has his eye on one of DC's most pressing issues:

Washington is a town filled with boobs.

They're everywhere, from the bare-breasted ladies who decorate the fountain at Dupont Circle to the peekaboo statue in the Justice Department's Great Hall to the countless nudes in our museums. But while those of us who live here hardly blink at the public nudity, it can shock some of our visitors. Such was the case for Robert Hurt, who last week tried to add the issue of artistic indecency in the nation's capital to the platform of the Texas GOP.

"You don't have nude art on your front porch," the Dallas Morning News quoted the delegate as telling the platform committee at the state party convention. "So why is it important to have that in the common places of Washington, D.C.?"

Hurt, 54, a Kerrville, Tex., rancher and father of 14, told us in a phone interview he first came to Washington a decade ago for a gathering of the evangelical Promise Keepers on the Mall. "It was probably not much different than 'The Beverly Hillbillies' going to Beverly Hills," he joked. At the National Gallery, he was appalled to see statues of unclothed people. "I found it very inappropriate," he said. Returning a few years later, he discovered Arlington Memorial Bridge, flanked by the bare-chested figures of Valor and Sacrifice.

In an article in the Dallas Morning News, Mr. Hurt offered the following startling statistic:

Mr. Hurt offered statistics: He'd heard that 20 percent of the art in the National Gallery of Art is of nudes.

That certainly came as news to me and my coworkers! Where on earth, we wondered, did he come up with that statistic? I think a little, dirty, naked bird must have whispered it to him.

In any event, it was kind of a and then they came for me moment. Fun!


whatdafuq said...

what an eponymous name! He must find
offense everywhere. Obviously one
of those 60+% of the population
without a passport (and better for
the rest of us too).

Anonymous said...

Peel Slowly and See!

Anonymous said...

...and father of 14

If he's complaining about nudity I bet his wife (wives?) are complaining about something too.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Kerrville, Texas is a Hill Country tourist trap with a lot of art galleries featuring bluebonnet landscapes and crap painted on old handsaws and shovels n' shit.
They ain't no nekkidness in those galleries because kids go in there and Lord knows we don't want our kids seeing breastises n' such.
Now, I live in Texas and I love our colorful old coots, but I wish they'd stay silent when they travel outside the state.
They are like the crazy old uncle who embarrasses everyone at family reunions.

Matthew Hubbard said...

So, Princess, when they came for you, were you nekkid?

There's a lot of double entendres around here. I hope nobody from Texas, except cool Texans like Our Karen, come by and read this.

Diane Griffin said...

This reminds me of seeing classical statuary in Europe, for instance at Hadrian's villa, where every male nude had a busted appendage. I was glad that Europe had had it's dark ages and gotten over all that stupid superstitious ignorance.

Can we have our dark ages now? I know, some of you are thinking we're there...

Anonymous said...

he has 14 children, some of whom are children he has had with his other children

HRH King Friday XIII, Ret. said...

you know what i find offensive?

Inbred yokels with missing teeth spouting creationism and quoting bible versus when they can't even read a newspaper.

If they ban art and literature, then we get to ban NASCAR.

samael7 said...

I alternate between getting very angry and frustrated with this . . . mentality, and wanting to patiently and calmly review the last several millennia of art history with them. Mostly annoyed and angry, though.

Finding a nude in a national gallery of art inappropriate would be like finding that "extra" hydrogen atom in your water "inappropriate."

Kelster93 said...

A few years ago, our little Michigan town began an outdoor sculpture project with local artists. One piece, an abstract-ish male nude, was the subject of outraged letters to the editor for MONTHS. The hick brigade had comments like "it's too close to the playground/if I wanted to see naked statues I'd go to Europe/I don't want to my kids to see a naked body." waned after a while.

The outrage cooled after a while, and Ugly Naked Guy (as he is affectionately known) is now part of our downtown. He has sported bunny ears at Easter, a fetching pink tiara & "Number One Mom" apron on Mother's Day, and a black-and-orange scarf when our high school teams have home games.

A little nekkidness is good for the community, eh?

Anonymous said...

Your choice for the "fig leaf" on the statue reminds me of Nancy Reagan's answer when asked how she copes when President Reagan was away from the White House overnight.
She said she laid in bed and ate bananas.

dguzman said...

Okay, Cynic Al's comment made me barf.

Like our dear Karen Zip, I'm a Texan too, and it's damned embarrassing when hayseeds like this guy not only get out of their little hick towns but actually speak to the media.

I can see him, standing there being interviewed in his faded dirty Dickies "over-hauls" and beat-up Red Wing boots. Good god.

Anonymous said...

She said she laid in bed and ate bananas.

Oh my.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Matty Boy, not to worry...the kind of Texans who bitch about nudity probably don't go on the Interneck, and if one wanders over here, D-Guz and I will kick the ass right out of his over-alls.

Alkibiades said...

I'm late posting on this, but I felt I had to speak up. I work at the University of Texas and my office is chock full of porn, mostly of the homosexual variety.

True, it's all pretty outdated by a few millenia, but if it was good enough for the Greeks and Romans, it's good enough for us, I say.

Anyway, I would like to extend an invitation to Mr. Hurt to come and be offended by porn right here in his home state so that he may save on gas/airfare in these tough economic times.

Leave the children at home, though, they may find themselves with the urge to pursue a Classics degree.

Bartman said...

You really must warn us when you are about to post such filth!

Cool - my match word is jepio, my gardener.

Lulu Maude said...

I love thinking about The Count.