Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Greenpeace Interns: Bad for the Environment

Oh, Boy! A rare, thrilling story of my "real" life!

I live in the basement apartment of an old row house, and a few months ago I got me some new upstairs neighbors: a gaggle of freshly-scrubbed Greenpeace interns. Let me tell you, they were so cute 'n' young, and let's just say they fit the mental image of "Greenpeace Intern" so precisely that I had to chide myself when I started thinking, "Oh, no, here come the drum-circles."

That cynical prediction, of course, came true less than twelve hours later. They were really slow, furthermore, to grasp the implications of my explanation that their floor was, in fact, my ceiling. Ah, kids!

Three months passed, marked by a near flooding of my apartment by the cloddish kiddies and lots of loud Grateful Dead. But now they've off and gone away into a bright new world of post-internship whateverness. I'll miss 'em. My ceiling, especially, will miss 'em.

Lucky for me they left some reminders! What to do with some of the more cumbersome objects a flock of interns may acquire for an unfurnished house? Simple! Just dump that old dorm couch, heaped with trash, right on the fucking sidewalk on your way out of town:



Hmmm... I don't think that's quite enough to remember you by. Could you please leave an old mattress, too?



I'll contact Greenpeace tomorrow; I'm sure they'll be more than happy to clean up after their internspill ASAP.

UPDATE: I contacted Greenpeace this morning, and their reaction was, basically, that they don't care and it isn't their responsibility. Furthermore, they didn't seem to be in the least bit concerned or appalled. Thanks, o brave protectors of our environment!

Special message to the visitors from Tekforums: Yes, they really were Greenpeace interns.

20 comments:

Unknown said...

jesus christ in a thong..what a bunch of jerks..and you swear to god they work for greenpeace?

Call em up and report back please.

Anonymous said...

Dirty fucking hypocrites. I hate alleged hippies.

Karen Zipdrive said...

Just gather up that crap and throw it in the nearest body of water, that is, after you stencil GREENPEACE all over it.

L said...

I just had the same thing happen to me! (not Greenpeace interns though). Yuppies dumped two couches and blocked my parking spot. ugh

Anonymous said...

My daughter goes to college with these types. They call them "trustafarians". After all, somebody's daddy has to pay for the DSL line, Berkenstock shoes,pizza delivery ,and ski trips to Aspen. Correct me if I'm wrong, but these have to be among the lowest paid internships . Ahh, to be young again.

the Alpha John said...

Sweet, misguided PSP. What did you expect? Now that the little eco-terrorists have graduated from seal-saving school, they must hurry to their next raft-in to stop Exxon from moving another $75 a barrell crude oil into a US port.

If they had more time, they could have easily put an ad on Craigslist:

"FREE COUCH / MATTRESS TO GOOD HOME:

Greenpeace Interns leaving for important, tree-hugging operation in an unnamed location. Don't need furniture? Just roll it up and smoke it -- there's plenty of THC and sex stains to get a room full of coeds thinking 'It's getting hot in here...let's take off all our clothes'."

Wow...my morning coffee must have something extra in it.

Unknown said...

I love the irony in this post PSP..actually I don't love it, I find it very disgusting..but I think you get my drift.

Make sure you tell the landlord so he can take it out of their deposit when he has to pay someone to remove it.

Anonymous said...

Hey - That's my counch! I recognize the pee stains

Anonymous said...

You expect an environmental group that will not say anything about overpopulation to actually be concerned about the behavior of their interns?

You're kidding right?

Choosing to say nothing about the root environmental problem of the world, should tell you something, shouldn't it?

Jonathan's Blogosphere said...

hahahah that's hilarious! It reminds me of the LaRouche kids that come round congressional office every other week. What bright young minds dressed in their best spandex and flip flops, inquiring a meeting with the legislative director, or maybe the Chief of Staff if they're available. And each time the office policy of nearly every office I can find stays the same: we're not here - tell them to go away.

Anonymous said...

Remarkably stupid of Greenpeace to respond to your call that way, unless the responder was -- oh no!-- ANOTHER GREENPEACE INTERN. You know, Princess, this whole story is way too perfectly affirming of all those beltway blinders regarding the larger world. Is this really about ideology? I don't think so.

I mean, young folks are slovenly and inconsiderate? This is news? They acted the way college kids act, and always have. They are noisy and neglectful. Why, kids these days, land sakes. I never. Did you?

Esri Rose said...

What the heck is the pattern on that mattress? Currency from around the world?

Thoughtless little jerks.

And I didn't know that about Greenpeace not talking about overpopulation. That IS hypocritical.

Peteykins said...

Your points are well-made, Hugo, but when I did stupid, inconsiderate things in my youth, I didn't do anything quite as hypocritical as devoting myself to saving the earth while strewing trash all over a city block.

bob mcbobberson said...

lol @ the edit you made. :)

Strangely this is the typical behaviour of many students in general in the UK. I'm one of them, but I certainly dont insist on fly tipping, but I am ashamed to see that other students condone such acts.

--From Tekforums :)

Anonymous said...

ah princess thats too bad. what had become of that stuff? please, do keep us updated.

Anonymous said...

Greenpeace strictly for the extremly stupid they have absolutly no brains in greenpeace

Anonymous said...

Acuialy im a enchanted son of a local villager i was changed into a bird but i,ve gotten to like it so much i want to stay a bird forever not bad i gets free meals in all those backyards TWEET TWEET

Stacy said...

1. We actually weren't interns, but whatever.

2.We had called the city to check to make sure it would be ok to leave all of that stuff curb side... (they said it would be picked up the next day).

3. We weren't paid at all.

4. We didn't listen to Grateful Dead

Flu-Bird said...

Greenpeace has got to the most stupid bunch of annoying hippy freaks ever i mean its origional founder PATRICK MOORE has quit them becuase their such a bunch of trouble making attention moungering pests

Anonymous said...

Don't be fooled. This is not your fathers greenpeace. They have become militant. They have nno real interests in anything other than money. They don't care if volunteers want to go harrass a ship but the money is the real thing.

All you need to prove this true is, next time you see someone soliciting for greenpeace with "would you like to help save the rainforest?" Say "No I don't care about the rain forest. They will frequently become very confrontational.

Also look up "eco terrorist" on wikipedia. Greenpeace ain't what it used to be.