I pointed out yesterday that Jennifer Rubin had snatched the "Worst Sentence Ever Published in the Washington Post" crown away from Richard Cohen, and wondered what Cohen would have to do to top the talented Ms. Rubin in the hackiness department.
O me of little faith!
Rubin still holds the Worst Sentence record, but OMG, today Richard's column is... such a piece of garbage you will not believe it. He's in full-on "clever funny ha ha" mode again, which is always painful. It's a Dickensian tale of the ghost of Cohen's grandfather come to admonish mankind for all the guns and the shootings and whatnot. Or, rather, it would be Dickensian if Charles Dickens had been suffering from massive head trauma. The grandfather's lines are written in heavy Jewish immigrant dialect, over the top to the point where it's tempting to accuse Richard Cohen himself of antisemitism. Seriously, it's almost as bad as Laurence Olivier in the Neil Diamond version of The Jazz Singer. The arguments are like something out of junior high debate class. The whole thing comes across as a skit put on at a nursing home talent show.
I strongly advise you against reading it. It's too late for me, but at least you can save yourself.